10 years later: results inconclusive
March 31, 2008
March 28, 2008
March 27, 2008
In order to protect the Wilkins basketball legacy, I'm calling for the excommunication of Damien from the Wilkins family with Brandon Jennings taking his place. He's currently projected to go eighth in the 2009 draft, so there is time. With good fortune, Brandon Wilkins will be projected to go eighth in the NBA draft.
March 26, 2008
March 25, 2008
Andres Nocioni: No me importa, Coach. Eso fue realmente significa.
JB: I don’t know what you said, but I really am sorry.
AN: No puedo creer que todavía no han aprendido rudimentario español. Hemos estado aquí durante cuatro años.
JB: Andres, I told you before, baby, I don’t habla the Spanish.
AN: Lo sé.
JB: But seriously, with the old fellas gone, I need you more than ever.
JB: Can everything be okay with us? Can we just get back to the good times?
JB: I can’t stay mad at you. Look at you!
AN: Gracias, entrenador.
JB: C’mere, Andy. I can call you Andy, right?
AN: Prefiero que no.
Boylan kisses Nocioni on the head.
JB: Heh. That’s how you guys do it in Europe right?
AN: Argentina se encuentra en América del Sur.
JB: I'm coming to Europe. We can share an apartment.
March 24, 2008
Please watch this fantastic video from the '91 Slam Dunk Contest for the following reasons:
- In the words of my friend Murph, "listen to the music in the background... and why are Rex Chapman's spandex way longer than his shorts?"
- Every competitor has a high-top fade, including obvious White Guy Rex Chapman.
- A Shawn Kemp sighting.
- A Dee Brown sighting.
- Kenny Smith playing basketball.
- Shawn Kemp doing the same dunk that Rex Chapman did, right after Rex Chapman did it, then proceeding to do that same dunk another 2 times.
- Dee Brown's shoes.
- Magic Johnson making the same jokes that he made during this year's contest.
March 21, 2008
12:15 EST – American vs. Tennessee
The Volunteers have like 9 guys who have the last name Smith. The best of them is Tyler, who is projected to go in the first round this summer. Chris Lofton is very good at college basketball but won’t do much in the NBA, just like Trajan Langdon, with whom he shares a haircut.
12:25 EST - Davidson vs. Gonzaga
The big story here is Davidson’s Stephen Curry, son of former Hornet legend Dell Curry. However, the best draft prospect is Jeremy Pargo of Gonzaga whose brother, Jannero, is a current Hornet Legend.
12:30 EST – Western Kentucky vs. Drake
Courtney Lee from Western Kentucky is supposed to be good, but that’s according to the internet.
2:35 EST – UMBC vs. Georgetown
Last summer, a huge center that looked 30 years older than he really was went number one overall. This year, Roy Hibbert (who may be 43) will go in the late lottery.
2:45 EST – San Diego vs. Connecticut
Hasheem Thabeet looks like a gigantic version of Wallace from The Wire. Oh, and he’s really good at blocking shots. He’ll go in the first round. His teammate, AJ Price, is projected to go in the first round next year.
2:50 EST – Austin Peay vs. Texas
Texas point guard DJ Augustin is a likely lottery selection. He played with Kevin Durant last year, but they couldn’t get out of the second round. That’s how bad of a coach Rick Barnes is.
7:10 EST – St. Joseph’s vs. Oklahoma
Huge white guys always do well in the NBA, so in no way will a team be disappointed after they use a 2009 lottery pick on Oklahoma’s Blake Griffin. Whatever lucky team gets to pick him will surely be rewarded.
7:20 EST – Siena vs. Vanderbilt
My mom keeps trying to convince me that Shan is a good name, but I think it can easily be added to SML’s “Most Gender Ambiguous Names” list. Regardless, Vanderbilt’s Shan Foster is very good; he should be a first rounder. Vandy’s other star, Andrew Ogilvy, should go first round next year.
7:25 EST - Oregon vs. Mississippi State
Four possible second rounders play in this game (Malik Hairston, Maarty Leunen, Bryce Taylor, and Jamont Gordon). Neat.
9:30 EST – Indiana vs. Arkansas
Eric Gordon is the real deal. He’s going lottery this summer. Indiana isn’t really sure if they’re happy about this; because, ya know, their program is going to be destroyed because of him.
9:30 EST – Boise State vs. Louisville
Louisville has four potential NBAsters (Derrick Caracter, Earl Clark, David Padgett, and Terrence Williams) so they should blow the Broncos out easily. In semi-related news, I beat my friend in NCAA Football 2004 with Boise State so he had to eat a whole raw potato.
9:40 EST – UT-Arlington vs. Memphis
Derrick Rose is extremely good (lottery). Chris Douglas-Roberts is very good (mid-first round). Joey Dorsey is pretty good (early second round).
March 20, 2008
Supposedly the NCAA tournament begins tonight, but since this web log is concerned with the NBA, perhaps you’d be interested in the draft prospects you can get a chance to look at today.
12:25 EST – Portland State vs. Kansas
Kansas features two projected first round picks in Darrell Arthur and Mario Chalmers, plus two second round picks in Brandon Rush and Darnell Jackson. Portland State is named after a state that isn’t really a state.
4:40 EST – Cornell vs. Stanford
Brook Lopez is a likely lottery pick, but his twin brother Robin isn’t projected anywhere in the draft, plus he has the girlier name. However, Robin sports a lot of curly hair, which the ladies love (trust me). You win some, you lose some I guess.
7:10 EST – Kansas State vs. USC
This is big like Oprah off her diet. Michael Beasley, 2008’s presumed number one pick, faces OJ Mayo, another likely lottery selection. Even though these guys won’t guard each other unless they switch off their man during a possession, expect everybody to go crazy over this match-up of freshman phenoms. Also watch for KSU’s Bill Walker and USC’s Taj Gibson, possible second round picks.
7:10 EST – Belmont vs. Duke
DeMarcus Nelson is maybe, kinda, sorta a second round pick. But he’s a random Duke swingman, so he’ll do nothing in the NBA (see Chris Carrawell, Roshown McLeod, and Dahntay Jones).
7:20 EST – Winthrop vs. Washington State
Washington State’s guards (Kyle Weaver and Derrick Low) are each expected to be chosen in the first and second round respectively. There are a lot of Ws in this entry.
7:25 EST – Texas A&M vs. BYU
With the amazing success of recent draft selections Acie Law IV (A&M) and Rafael Araujo (BYU), teams will be falling all over themselves to draft the stars from these two teams. A&M’s DeAndre Jordan is projected as a lottery pick while his foil Trent Plaisted is expected to be chosen in the second round.
9:30 EST – Arizona vs. West Virginia
Point guard Jerryd Bayless of Arizona is probably going top 10, despite the horrific spelling of his first name. For some reason, fellow name casualty Chase Budinger dropped off NBADraft.net’s board while still being top 15 at Draft Express. Possibly because of his goatee.
9:40 EST Mississippi Valley State vs. UCLA
Blowtorch endorsed UCLA features 4 future NBAsters, 3 of which (Kevin Love, Russell Westbrook, Darren Collison) could go in the first round. Luc Richard Mbah a Moute is projected as a second round draft pick, but his name should vault him in to the lottery.
The picture? One of the first Google image results for "draft watching." I don't get it either.
March 19, 2008
Leon Powe: Hi.
Leon Powe: Hi.
Leon Powe: Hello.
Leon Powe: Yeah….so?
Goathair: Sooooo….hmmmm….you scored 21 tonight in a huge game. That’s great.
Leon Powe: Yeah, pretty cool.
Goathair: Yeah. Absolutely.
Leon Powe: Yeah…
Goathair: Hey, remember that time you lead the Pac-10 in scoring and rebounding?
Leon Powe: Yeah.
Goathair: That was awesome.
Leon Powe: Yeah.
Leon Powe: …
Leon Powe: …
Goathair: Anybody ever tell you you look like a construction worker?
Leon Powe: All the time, man. All the time.
March 18, 2008
You see, Indiana’s long standing tradition of institutional racism has brought about some strange results. Not only did they indirectly eliminate the Dallas Mavericks from last year’s playoffs, but for the past twenty years the Pacers have had at least one big white fellow.
In 1988, the Pacers acquired foreigner’s Rik Smits and Detlef Schrempf and the legacy began. Through the years, Indiana has soothed their fans by employing such legends as Dwayne Schintzius, Scot Pollard, and Austin Croshere. Last year’s acquisitions, Mike Dunleavy, Jr. and Troy Murphy, joined the surprisingly long-tenured Jeff Foster in an attempt to be the first frontcourt to survive solely on 15 foot jumpers.
And though there currently may be little room for Love in Indiana’s crowded big man rotation, a trade of noted brawler Jermaine O’Neal seems likely. With his clean reputation, lack of startling athleticism, and grasp of Right Way skills (rebounding, passing, not being particularly great at anything) Kevin Love was born to be a Pacer.
March 17, 2008
March 13, 2008
March 12, 2008
March 11, 2008
From the moment he entered the league, I was immediately against the whole idea of Kobe Bryant. I can't narrow down why, exactly; but I'm sure it was a combination of his entitlement, Jordan imitation, cockiness, and eventually small afro. However, I know exactly when I became a fan (0:16 point in the above video).
Words can't describe the creativity needed to even consider a shot like that, not to mention the nearly unrealistic odds of making it. That Kobe would take this shot with the game on the line was (and is) a signifier that he lives on a different basketball planet than the rest of us. There is a state of thoughtless awareness that Kobe inhabits far more frequently than anyone else in the League, and that's why his triumphs seem so otherworldly.
March 10, 2008
March 5, 2008
The definition of MVP is most valuable player. In my eyes, this means the player that means the most to his team. It's easy to let highlight reel plays and marketing campaigns cloud your judgment, but a quick look at the Grizzlies before and after Mike Miller's injury easily proves just how valuable he is.
Record: 14-38 (.269)
Points per game: 100.5
Record: 0-8 (.000)
Points per game: 92.8
These are irrefutable facts that show that Mike Miller is far and away this year's MVP. Not only has his team's winning percentage fell a jaw-dropping 27%, they have also scored 8% less without the feminine swingman. If a 27% decline in winning percentage isn't evidence of value, then I don't know what is.