Just Keep Shooting, Just Keep Shooting

Jannero Pargo enters the game, what follows is his internal monologue:

Alright, Jannero. Let's go. Gotta get some looks. Get some shots up. Get in a rhythm. Let's ParGO!

One miss, ain't no thang. Just keep gettin' them shots. You can hit 'em. You're the best shooter on the court. Probably in the league.
Hmmm...I don't know what's going on right now. Better keep shooting. Get that swagger back.

YEAAAAAH!!! Just the first of many. Now I'm getting going, yo. Jannero Pargo in the house.

Pssssht. Who cares. I made that jumper earlier. More to come. Stay tuned.

I am getting some GOOD looks. They'll start dropping. I just gotta do me, keep jackin'.

Just a matter of time, Spurs. You know and I know that these shots are gonna drop. They're for sure gonna keep goin' up. Know that.

MORE SHATS, JANNERO! Next one's going in, and you know this, maaaaan.

Yeah, whatever. Next game these are in. Consider yourself warned.

LeBronomics

• This is a lengthy conversation e-mailed to me by a future human-in-law. You really should read it as it discusses the effect that LeBron James has had on economies.
  
  I tend to side with Human Two's point of view that even if there was no LeBron James, there would still be someone to fill his place as a marketing force. You can see that with the explosion of Chris Paul in these playoffs; he's clearly positioned himself as the next marketable star of the NBA.
  
• I'll be liveblogging again over at Ball Don't Lie with Skeets and Matt Moore tonight. We've essentially become the internet's official Spurs-Hornets broadcasters. In all honesty, the BDL liveblogs that we (us three and Kelly Dwyer, usually) are doing are impeccable and have to be considered the internet's best. I'm proud to be a part of something so cool.

Late Game Thoughts with Hedo Turkoglu

Duh-white, do not have worry. Hedo will make basketball dunk shot for to win game. Only 2 points is dunk shot, so Hedo make two dunk shot. 4 point!

See Duh-White! Hedo making dunk shot! YAY HEDO!

Ummm....Taycron Prints mess it all up and down. Hedo can make no dunk shot? Not goods.

Oh, Duh-White, Hedo sorry for no make dunk shot. Next time, you make dunk shot?

1000 Words: OJ Mayo Keeps a Low Profile

Nah, man. I PAID for these tickets. Out of my own pocket. With my own money. That I EARNED, son.

For reals, I got a job. Deliver pizzas for Papa John's. Isht was crazy the other day, ya heard? Ain't no thing. Pick up the pizza, drive over in my Maybach, drop off the pizza then I'm outtie. I get to keep the tips too. It's straaaaaight.


Seriously though, can everybody see me?

Chris and Tony, Friends Forever

Tony Parker: Ey-uh, Crease, I vreally like-a yore floata. Ees bootyfull. Ees berry BERRY sexies.


Chris Paul: Ummm, uh, thanks Tony.


Tony Parker: Yes, Crease, ees a so bootyfull. I-ah wanna oose ze floata too. Das okay, yes?


Chris Paul: Yeah. Right on. Whatever, man.


Tony Parker: Oh, Crease Paul. So genruss. So nice. BAGUETTE!


Chris Paul: .....


Tony Parker: You don't-a want-a baguette? You don't-a like-a baguette? Das alright, Tonay Parcare jussa stand-a like you, Crease Paul. I standa just like-a ze bootyfull Crease Paul. Too sexies!


Chris Paul: .....


Tony Parker: You wanta to sex-a my wife?

A Sideline Interview with Jonah Hill

So, like, yeah. I've been like a huge Lakers fan pretty much my whole life or whatever. They're totally rad. And, like, look at all these hot chicks here. I'd pay somebody to pay them to show me their Laker girls. Their tee-tays. Tattles.

GET THE BALL IN THE HOOP YOU [expletive deleted]!! ARE YOU [expletive deleted] KIDDING ME??

Sorry, I didn't mean to yell. I'm sorry. My bad. Sorry.

But for reals, like I was saying; big Lakers fan. Bigger fan of these ladies. I can't help getting tinglepants and I wouldn't mind them seeing, ya know. Look closely and you can see the outline. I need several beers right now.

SERIOUSLY TURIAF! MAKE A [expletive deleted] SHOT! THIS ISN'T [expletive deleted] GRADE [expletive deleted] SCHOOL! I DIDN'T PAY THIS MONEY TO SEE THIS [expletive deleted]!

Sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm just a fan. Sorry. Let me get my beer on, fo sho. I'll be fine then. Fo sho. No worries. Go Lakers or whatever.

[expletive deleted] RADMANOVIC STOP BEING SUCH A LITTLE RADMANO[expletive deleted]!

1000 Words: Old People Mating

DANNY: They'll never understand us.

MARGE: Why? Because of the race thing?

DANNY: No. Because we're old people. Old people mating is gross.