July 31, 2007

It's fun to say Marco Belinelli

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.


Marco Belinelli

Strengths: great scorer, great shooter, hilarious last name
Weaknesses: pretty terrible defensively, just an ok passer, easily confused when playing "Marco Polo"


NBA Comparison (best-case): Ray Allen
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Boston Nachobar
NBA Comparison (most likely): Mike Miller

July 30, 2007

Sean Williams may be high right now

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.



Sean Williams

Strengths: fantastic shot blocker, great rebounder, muy athletico
Weaknesses: LOVES weed, hates law enforcement, not too great at offense

NBA Comparison (best-case): Kenyon Martin
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Tony Battie
NBA Comparison (most likely): Theo Ratliff

July 27, 2007

Nick Young Is NOT Thaddeus Young's Brother

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.



Nick Young


Strengths: great scorer, decent rebounder, good range, tough as nails
Weaknesses: questionable focus, not a huge fan of defense


NBA Comparison (best-case): Rip Hamilton
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Ron Mercer
NBA Comparison (most likely): Jamal Crawford

July 26, 2007

Rodney Stuckey appears to be very sleepy

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.


Rodney Stuckey


Strengths: enjoys scoring baskets, quick first step, strong like bull
Weaknesses: tweener, not a great handle, name sound kind of gay


NBA Comparison (best-case): Dwyane Wade
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Dajuan Wagner
NBA Comparison (most likely): Randy Foye

July 25, 2007

Al Thornton is way old

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.



Al Thornton



Strengths: scoring machine, will contribute immediately, looks really tough
Weaknesses: not a great rebounder, only provides offense, is older than me even though I graduated 2 years before him



NBA Comparison (best-case): Corey Maggette
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Trevor Ariza
NBA Comparison (most likely): Al Harrington

July 24, 2007

Julian Wright looks strangely like Tim Thomas

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Julian Wright

Strengths: good with the ball, insistence on wearing Kerry Kittles' tall socks, from Chicago
Weaknesses: not too great at shooting a basketball, silly smile, should have went pro out of HS

NBA Comparison (best-case): Magic Johnson
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Luke Jackson
NBA Comparison (most likely): Boris Diaw

July 23, 2007

Thaddeus is an old name for a Young man

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.


Thaddeus Young


Strengths: springs, wings, and other fast-twitch things
Weaknesses: raw, weak handle, name of a 18th century infantry soldier


NBA Comparison (best-case): Paul Pierce
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Donyell Marshall
NBA Comparison (most likely): Caron Butler

July 16, 2007

Programming Note

The Blowtorch is on vacation this week. Check back next week for caricatures of Thaddeus Young, Julian Wright, Al Thornton, Rodney Stuckey, and Nick Young.

July 13, 2007

Acie Law ZE FOURF

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.





Acie Law IV
Strengths: balls of steel, solid jumper, good basketball IQ
Weaknesses: slow-ish, not really a point guard, if Acie Law's 1-3 can't make it, who says the fourth can?


NBA Comparison (best-case): Chauncey Billups
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Mo Williams
NBA Comparison (most likely): Sam Cassell

July 12, 2007

Spencer Hawes is tremendously boring looking

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Spencer Hawes
Strengths: good passer, solid post moves, decent jumper
Weaknesses: soft as a bag of cotton, named Spencer, denies global warming
NBA comparison (best-case): Brad Miller
NBA comparison (worst-case): Chris Mihm
NBA comparison (most likely): Vlade Divac


Why do the Kings love soft, white centers who are decent passers?

July 11, 2007

Joakim Noah has bonky hair

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Joakim Noah
Strengths: high energy, good passer, bonky hair, really annoying to play against
Weaknesses: shoots a curveball jumper, bonky hair, REALLY annoying period
NBA comparison (best-case): Dennis Rodman, plus a little offense
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Jerome Williams
NBA Comparison (most likely): Tyson Chandler

July 10, 2007

Brandan Wright has braces

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.


Brandan WrightStrengths: hops, orthodontia, finishes with both hands
Weaknesses: lack of jumper, lack of ball-handling skills

NBA Comparison (best-case): Chris Bosh
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Tony Battie
NBA Comparison (most likely): Shareef Abdur-Rahim

July 9, 2007

Corey Brewer, another smiling rookie

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Corey Brewer
Strengths: long arms, staunch defender, cartoonish smile
Weaknesses: not a great shooter, is named Corey, skin and bones

NBA Comparison (best-case): Scottie Pippen
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Doug Christie
NBA Comparison (most likely): Shane Battier

July 6, 2007

Yi Jianlian hates Milwaukee

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Strengths: ball-handling (alleged), shooting (alleged), dribbling around chairs (confirmed)
Weaknesses: hates bratwursts, cheese, and Wisconsin, may be 100 years old

NBA comparison (best-case): Pau Gasol
NBA comparison (worst-case): Austin Croshere
NBA comparison (most likely): Troy Murphy

July 5, 2007

Jeff Green; also a fan of smiling

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Jeff Green
Strengths: passing basketballs, making big plays, not getting called for travelling
Weaknesses: boring name, shoddy jumper

NBA comparison (best-case): Scottie Pippen
NBA comparison (worst-case): Jamal Mashburn
NBA comparison (most likely): Lamar Odom

July 3, 2007

Mike Conley, Jr. enjoys smiling

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie reviews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Mike Conley, Jr.
Height: 6'1"
Weight: "180"

Strengths: running fast, jumping high, smiling like a crazy man, getting in to the lane
Weaknesses: shooting a basketball, frowning

NBA comparison (best-case): Tony Parker
NBA comparison (worst-case): Speedy Claxton
NBA comparison (most likely): T.J. Ford

July 2, 2007

Al Horford is a stout man.

  • FanHouse says Darko got burned by ze Magic. Possibly because he'z Darko Milililililic.
  • One way of increasing your blog traffic is by linking all over the place. Supposedly it's good karma. I think there might be something to this linking thing, but I'm not sure. Perhaps I'll try it.
  • I like this little article, mainly because my lady will be a basketball coach soon. I also like it because it means all the stupid shots I've practiced for years aren't really that stupid.
  • I whole-heartedly agree with Shanoff about how you can spontaneously start liking Joakim Noah. And here's an article might help.
  • Milwaukee drafting Yi Jianlian is terrible on so many levels. Not only will he not play for them, if he wants he can sit out the year and re-enter the draft next year. That means the Bucks would get nothing with the 6 pick in the best draft in many moons. Not to mention that he wouldn't fit in with the Bucks anyways. Bad idea jeans, Milwaukee.
  • I've just decided to learn the collective bargaining agreement. Then I can get an NBA job.