Showing posts with label Luke Walton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Luke Walton. Show all posts

February 1, 2010

Some Bros Talk Basketball

Bro, last night was RIDICULOUS.

For real, bro. Crazy.

Kobe, bro.

Bro. Kobe.

I know, bro.

At first I was like, "yoooooooo b, hook it up with the ball." But then I was like, "nice."

Exactly.

Exactly.

Pretty tyte, bro.

For real.

Shannon Brown: What are you guys talking about?

September 3, 2009

A Couple of Hipsters Play Basketball

In Silverlake...Hipster at the Top of the Key: Hey, "pass" me "the ball."

Hipster with the Ball: Hold on, man. I'm going to try that hook shot Kareem used to do in the 80s. Style was so much cooler back then. Not to mention, I liked Kareem better back when he was Lew Alcindor.

Hipsters in Crowd: (nod heads with arms crossed over chest)

Hipster with the Ball: Foul. Chill out, this isn't a Limp Bizkit concert.

Hipsters in the Crowd: (snicker to themselves while nodding their heads)
Man in Disguise: Hey guys. Mind if I play?
Hipster Coach: Whatever, man. We can't tell you what you can or can't do. That's why we're in this league. We have the freedom that teams in major sports leagues don't have. That makes our brand of basketball a lot more authentic than those sell-outs.

Man in Disguise: Word.

(Man in Disguise runs an offense that no one else on the court knows.)

(Man in Disguise throws a back door pass to a cutter that isn't there.)

(Man in Disguise fends off the advances of Britney Spears, who just happens to be walking by in a bikini, since that's all she wears now.)

(Man in Disguise misses an open 15 foot jumper.)

(Time out is called.)
Hipster Coach: You need to relax, man. If you haven't noticed, we're trying to play with a detached sense of ironic cool. You're playing like a real bro.

Man in Disguise: I have to confess. I'm Luke Walton of the Los Angeles Lakers. I'm just trying to get in shape for the season, and I happened to see you guys playing out here. I got this mustache and bandana so I could fit in. No one wants to actually stand out.

Hipster Coach: Cool, man. We all love your dad. There's a few of us out here who look like him.

Luke Walton: I've noticed. Kind of weirds me out. He wasn't a great looking man.

Hipster Coach: You just don't understand us.

Luke Walton: That's probably true, for I am a Bro at heart. I'll be going now.
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Phone rings playing "Lovegame"...Hipster Knicks Fan: What? Hipster Lakers Fan: You're not going to believe this. Luke Walton just came down to play at Silverlake. Then he left.

Hipster Knicks Fan: Of course he did. It's just like the Lakers to try and co-opt the counter culture. I'm so over the Lakers.

Hipster Lakers Fan: Poser.

Hipster Knicks Fan: Sell out.

June 15, 2009

A Couple of Bros Win an NBA Title

Bro, we totally won the title, bro.

For real, bro.

Bro, check out this trophy.

Heavy, bro.

Can you believe it, bro? It's like meeting a fly honey who wants to party, AND THEN YOU PARTY. Unbelievable, broski.

No kidding, bro. My pops is always like, "winning a title is the best feeling in the history of the world and Western civilization." I'm always like, "psssht whatevs." But he wasn't lying, bro.

Yeah, bro.

Do you ever think, like, maybe there's more to life than playing basketball and being chill?

Not really, bro. I just want to wear backwards hats all day and party.

Word up. Let's get crunk.

February 13, 2009

Back to the Future IV


"Alright, here's the pitch; we send Kevin Love, Luke Walton, Kevin Martin, Spencer Hawes, and Kosta Koufos back to the early 90s when they're playing bitty basketball. If they don't get back to the future before the Summer of 2010, they'll tear a hole in the space time continuum and LeBron James will decide to play bass for the recently reformed Limp Bizkit."

May 30, 2008

Kobe Bryant Is The Closer

This spring, people just can't stop confessing... Kobe Bryant IS The Closer. Only on TNT.

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I haven't even tried since Anchorman.

Luke and I have a thing. Don't tell the ladies though.

I dun eben like bathketbawl.

Tonay Parcare wanns-a you to sex-a hees wife. He juss watch and eat baguette.
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Only on TNT. We know drama.