Considering a Throat Tattoo

You guys know I like to stay up on trends. That's why I'm so big in to skateboarding lately. I just really like skitching. It's pretty relaxing. But anyways, one of the big trends so far this year in the NBA is throat tattoos. First DeShawn Stevenson got one so that people would remember who DeShawn Stevenson is:

Then JR Smith got one so people would forget who DeShawn Stevenson is:

All in all, seems like a pretty chill place to get a tattoo. Plus it's a really great look. It gives you a chance to brand yourself (metaphorically and physically) in a place that people don't expect. Basically, it's going viral on your own body. Pretty smart.

But I can't decide what I want to get across the front of my neck. I've got some ideas though.

Might get my favorite player tattooed on my throat.

Might go the Stevenson route and get my favorite president, Millard Fillmore, tattooed on my throat.
Might go the JR Smith route and get someone else's nickname tattooed on my throat.


Might one up them and get my own face tattooed on my throat.

Like I said, it's a pretty tough decision. It's going to affect me for the rest of my life, or until lasers become a lot more affordable through the "Laser in Every Home" program. But that's hardly the point. I want my throat tattoo and I want it now.

So help me, Internet. What should I get tattooed on my throat?

What I Learned This Weekend

Have you guys heard of learning? It's cool. Basically, you see, hear, or otherwise experience different events and then you use those events to make yourself smarter and more knowledgeable. I did learning this weekend. I watched television shows and basketball games quite a bit. I also throughthrew a softball.

But more important was the learning that I did. Here are some THINGS THAT I LEARNED THIS WEEKEND:

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Denver Nuggets coach George Karl takes grooming advice from the ghost of former President Gerald Ford.

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THE REASON WHY JR Smith copies famous celebrations is because if he were left to his own devices, he reverts to acting like Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson from the motion picture EdTV.

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• Using bullet points is a good way of making important information stick out.
• So is bolding random words.

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IN THE OFF-SEASON, Dallas Mavericks forward Dirk Nowitzki is the captain of a crab fishing ship called the Northwestern. His exploits are documented by the television show Deadliest Catch.

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• RANDOMLY CAPITALIZING words is also effective for drawing attention to notable happenings. It is called HODGMANCASE.

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FOR HALLOWEEN, JR Smith and Kenyon Martin plan on going as Redman and Method Man. The twist is that while Redman is lighter than Method Man, Kenyon is lighter than JR. This is called irony or the "yin-yang effect."

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WHILE WRITING THIS POST, I learned that I know how to spell McConaughey correctly.

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Come On, JR Smith

I don't want nobody sound like nobody from my clan

Man keep it real, get your own stuff man, and be original

And you'll be a better man

And you gonna come out on your own

Whatever how you gonna take it man