- "I don't care if I win a title."
- "Shaq is such a bro."
- "Can someone bring me some chicken tenders?"
- "I have sadness."
And now that Shaq is gone, Steve is super sad because of the Suns being bad. He doesn't know what to do with his life. I'm not a psychologist, but I'm pretty much a psychiatrist, and I can tell that he's going through a crisis.
Whereas Steve Nash used to be one of the most fun-loving Dudes in the NBA, now he's a confused Dude. He tried setting up his anti-hot dogs coalition, but that failed because people love hot dogs. Now, he's just trying anything to feel alive again.
For instance, he tried modelling:
I understand that he's just trying to find something to do with his time that makes him feel productive, but it's kinda sad. He's not even modelling good clothes, he's modelling things that look like you could buy them at a Goodwill.
And then when his modelling job tanked, Steve started "really getting in to music." He'd wander the streets of New York, coming up with horrible melodies that can't even get made in to songs. Naturally, he started dressing like his favorite Canadian musician, Celine Dion:
That's pretty sad, right? Obviously it is. No one should dress like Celine Dion, including Celine Dion.
So after a failed charity, a failed modelling career, and a failed music career, Steve turned to what any cold-blooded Canadian would: women.
I don't know why he's done it, but I'm guessing it has to do with taking his mind off basketball. It's kind of like in movies about rock stars how they just want to have ladies around so they don't feel so horribly alone.
Oh, Steve. I feel so bad for you. I know I wouldn't want to be a Sun right now either, but you are a basketball player. The soccer thing is cute and all, but you need to be on a hardwood floor, throwing bounce passes. Even if it's to players who aren't as good as you are, and even if you're not as good as you used to be.