January 12, 2009

Assessing LeBron's Announcement

By now, you know that LeBron is making some sort of announcement on January 18th. But what could it be?

Here's some hypotheses:

  • Notorious was alright. Not great, not bad, just alright.
  • A co-sponsorship between Nike and Rogaine, in order to minimize the effect that his dependency on terrycloth to disguise his male-pattern baldness has upon the environment.
  • Apologizes for the LeBron's Lightning Lemonade gum, which "didn't really taste that good."
  • He found Damon Jones.
  • Another pair of clunky shoes.
  • Yet ANOTHER pair of clunky shoes.
  • More clunky shoes.
  • The new pronunciation of his name: Lay-Broon. It coincides with a Ralph Lauren collaboration to be released in France.
  • That he thought "Jockin' Jay-Z" was pretty bad, but he likes "Brooklyn (Go Hard)."
  • Has reconsidered the global icon approach. Now wants to be a desktop icon.
  • Something involving Lil' Wayne*, which will be named LeBron Wayne.
  • That he's really excited for Lost to come back. "Polar bears need love, yo."
  • Crab dribble instructional tape.

*As I typed this, I realized that this is probably true. Think about it. Weezy has been in the last two LeBron commercials. He's the biggest star in rap right now, and he'll do a track with ANY BODY. What's keeping LeBron and Wayne from doing a rap song? If/when this happens, it will immediately become my least favorite song of 2k9.


Anonymous said...

he'll be in a cleveland browns jersey running routes his first love was football

Anonymous said...

its true.

jon said...

I wonder if it's related to those "What is G" commercials. They're narrated by Weezy, and there's a line in them about "the greatest of all time" Then a big G logo. So I'm guessing a shoe.

Anonymous said...

yea it has sumpthin to do with playing for the clevland browns i saw some pics that got leaked hes no. 23 (not surprisingly)

FreeCashFlow said...

HAS to be about shoes or some commercial venture, doesn't it?

Anonymous said...

what time will he be making his annoucement?

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