My Entire Birthday Wish List

I was recently asked what I want for my birthday this year. Christmas has just passed, so I really have no idea what else I could possibly ask for. I've wanted the Penny 2s since I was in eighth grade, and as I type they're on my feet.

I have all the seasons of The Office (UK and US) and Arrested Development. I even got a grill this year. Sure, it'd be nice to have every season of The Wire, but I've got to rewatch seasons 1 and 2 before I'm even worried about those. I've got a wife, a house, and a cat named Boots. A man couldn't ask for more.

Or so I thought.

Recently Mr. Larry Hughes decided he wouldn't mind being traded from the Bulls. You know who else wouldn't mind? The Bulls. And you know who else? Everyone. I'm sure you've heard of them. They make up every person on the planet.

Now, I'm not one to disparage Larry for the work he's done for his family, which is commendable. He's even been a fairly good teammate this year, especially while he was injured. And of course there's his contributions to the Foundation for Men with Small Craniums. All of these are great, great things that make Larry Hughes harder to hate.

I'm not a superstitious man, but this year's trade deadline is on my birthday and it seems a little too perfect that my all-time least favorite player of all time could be traded then. So this is what I want for my birthday; for John Paxson to wait just a little bit. Trade Larry Hughes on my birthday. That's not too much to ask, right?