April 10, 2008

The Weakest Link: San Antonio Spurs

Someone, possibly St. Thomas Aquinas, once said, “A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.” I don’t really get what that means, but as the playoffs approach, El Blowtorch will be profiling the worst player on each team’s roster. Then, the players will face off in a simulated one-on-one game of NBA 2K8 if it’s available at Video Villa. Obviously, this will provide the in-depth analysis needed to predict the winners for each playoff series. Up next, the San Antonio Spurs and Matt Bonner…

Matt Bonner is basically Brian Scalabrine enhanced. He can kinda shoot threes, he can kinda rebound, and he has red hair. Ergo, Matt Bonner is essentially Brian Scalabrine’s doppelganger.

From everything that I’ve ever heard, if you are to ever meet your perfect doppelganger you will spontaneously explode. If that happens with Scalabrine and Bonner, neither San Antonio nor Boston will be that disappointed.

Fun Facts:
Nicknamed “the Red Rocket”…favorite food is a turkey sub…father is a postman and mother is an elementary school teacher…favorite musical artist is Dead Prez…owns 14% of Casino Rama in Toronto…member of Screen Actors Guild…once ate 13 goldfish at a county fair

Proof That Matt Bonner Has Signed Autographs:


Anonymous said...

you forgot to mention that when he was in toronto he refused to buy a car and took the bus to all their games

Tuffy said...

Mostly because we can't prove he actually went to the games.