April 7, 2008

The Weakest Link: Boston Celtics

Someone, possibly Ghandi, once said, “A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.” I don’t really get what that means, but as the playoffs approach, El Blowtorch will be profiling the worst player on each team’s roster. Then, the players will face off in a simulated one-on-one game of NBA 2K8 if it’s available at Video Villa. Obviously, this will provide the in-depth analysis needed to predict the winners for each playoff series. Up first, the Boston Celtics and Gabe Pruitt…

Gabe Pruitt is a rookie point guard from USC who backs up Rajon Rondo, Sam Cassell, Sam Cassell’s nuts, Eddie House, and Tony Allen. I’m not saying that he sucks at playing basketball, but if you’re stuck behind Tony Allen and Eddie House, there’s a good chance you suck at basketball.

Pruitt last graced the court on February 25th, meaning that I have played more competitive basketball games than him in the last month and a half. For the season, Pruitt is averaging a whopping 2.0 points per game on a blazing .379 shooting percentage.

Fun Facts:
Once ate 14 Cheddar Bay Biscuits in one sitting at a Boston area Red Lobster…born with eleven fingers….prefers crew length socks…shuffleboard enthusiast…nickname is “Smiley Gabe”…shares birthday with Candace Parker, Scott Padgett, and Suge Knight…maintains bonsai trees as a hobby

Possible Proof That Gabe Pruitt Has Played in an NBA Game:


Comparison Shopping said...

Gabe Pruitt does not "suck" in basketball just because hes behind Tony Allen and Eddie House in the rotation. He led USC last year to the sweet 16 and will eventually make his mark in the NBA. Im not saying he will be a star but he will do something.

goathair said...

Agreed. But for this year, he sucks. It's all relative.

Anonymous said...

ummmmmm.... you do know that SCAL is riding the pine for us right? pruitt takes scal one on one any day of the week

SMK said...

Gabe Pruitt hasn't played because he's been in the D-League.

Brian Scalabrine is the worst player on the Celtics. He played 18 minutes against Charlotte and managed 1 shot, which he missed. That was his first appearance in three weeks. The dude is the nonniest of non-factors.

Dart Adams said...

Gabe would be the weakest link if he actually played. Since he's in the NBADL and he has no chance at making the playoff roster perhaps this post should be aimed at the OTHER USC Trojan on the squad, Brian Scalabrine.

As an aside, how does playing behind Rajon Rondo, Sam Cassell and Tony Allen mean you suck when their part of the point guard rotation that plays the best defense, hold their opponents to the lowest scoring and shooting percentages, turns their opponents over the most and and rebounds and outscores the other team better than any other team in the NBA? Have you ever taken a peek at the standings lately?

Well? Nice try, though.


Brendan said...

the nbdl is a lot more competitive than any league you are playing in

goathair said...

Yes, Scalabrine is terrible and horrible and unattractive But you can find that stuff anywhere. Pruitt is freshly bad, so that's more fun for me. (Note: I like Gabe Pruitt, he just hasn't done anything.)

And it should also be noted, Pruitt isn't on the D-League website and he's been recalled to the Celts. Oh, and playing behind Eddie House is still ridiculous.

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