April 8, 2008

The Weakest Link: New Orleans Hornets

Someone, possibly Socrates, once said, “A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.” I don’t really get what that means, but as the playoffs approach, El Blowtorch will be profiling the worst player on each team’s roster. Then, the players will face off in a simulated one-on-one game of NBA 2K8 if it’s available at Video Villa. Obviously, this will provide the in-depth analysis needed to predict the winners for each playoff series. Up next, the New Orleans Hornets and Mike James…

Mike James probably isn’t actually the worst player on the Hornets. That title probably falls to Chris Andersen, but James is way less cool, and therefore way more terrible. I mean, at least Chris Andersen provides some comedy.

Anyways, the following quote from January 15th (prior to James’s trade to the Hornets) assessing the fantasy sports aspect of Mike James tells everything you need to know about this creep:


“James, who was heralded as a significant addition to the roster when the Rockets obtained him in a trade for Juwan Howard last June, has not played in five of the past six games…James has fallen behind Rafer Alston, Luther Head and even rookie Aaron Brooks in the rotation. There's no reason to have James on your roster at this point.”


That’s on the NBA’s actual website, meaning that the NBA okayed one of its employees to essentially tell its audience that they would be an idiot to even consider having Mike James be on their fantasy team. Not a good sign. But he’s made all 6 of his free throws since joining New Orleans; suck on that NBA.

Fun Facts:
Scored 39 points in a game this one time…often confused with rapper Mike Jones…holds New York state high school state record for push-ups in 60 seconds (94)…favorite food is pierogies…spends off-seasons as an apprentice cheese maker in southern France…attended Duquesne University where he graduated with a degree in actuarial sciences

Photographic Evidence That Mike James Has Played in an NBA Game for the New Orleans Hornets:

2 comments:

Tuffy said...

Photoshop.

Ron Hitley said...

I disagree. Rasual Butler has fallen off the end of the Hornets bench. Fallen and he can't get up.