EXCLUSIVE: Crittenton Points a Gun at Arenas

Whoa. I was just reviewing the tape I acquired through shady underground connections. I don't know how I missed it the first time I watched, but things are getting worse.

Check this out.
And Javale McGee is just smiling it up in the background. This is getting scary, guys. I never took Javaris Crittenton to be a 'point a gun at a teammate' type, but apparently he is that type. There's an old saying that goes, "You just never know with guys named Javaris." That seems applicable here. He's also not great at insults because "I'll shoot you in your surgically repaired knee" is pretty wackintosh.

EXCLUSIVE: Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton Gun Fight Pictures

Through my shady underground connections I got my hands on the footage from the locker room when Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton dropped guns on each other. It wasn't easy to obtain, but the good part is that these stills I captured from that fateful night prove that this wasn't that big of a deal. Here's how the events played out.

First, Arenas pulled out one of his guns.

Not wanting to be punked, Crittenton responded in turn.

After they realized how silly they were being, they got over it and gathered around for a picture to squash the beef. Crittenton even disarmed himself, trading his gun for some throwing stars.

See, it's no big thing. Just a couple of bros with guns in the locker room. They were even smiling the whole time.

Case closed.

1000 Words: Washington's Newest Point Guard

Times are tough in Washington. They've won seven games. They've already fired a coach. Gilbert is out, with no real return date. DeShawn Stevenson insists on wearing a bowtie. It's not a great situation.

But trust me, Mateen Cleaves is NOT the answer.

The Potential Grizzlies/Wizards Trade Explained

Supposedly, the Grizzlies are considering trading Javaris Crittenton to the Wizards for a conditional draft pick that they used to have which was traded for Juan Carlos Navarro who is no longer in the NBA. If that sentence seems confusing, it's because it is. The trade and the sentence.

Luckily for the world, I've created this high quality, extremely detailed diorama of the paths that these players and draft pick has travelled since 2007.

THE GREAT WIZZLIE* SWAP

*Grizzard was considered, but rejected due to the additional confusion that may be caused by former Wizards swingman Rod Grizzard

I would imagine there is only one Javaris Crittenton in the world

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Javaris Crittenton

Strengths: huge for a point guard, crazy athletic, good scorer
Weaknesses: raw as sushi, not to great at being a point guard yet


NBA Comparison (best-case): Steve Francis
NBA Comparison (worst-case): Rick Brunson
NBA Comparison (most likely): Keyon Dooling