Caron Butler, I'm Just Like You

We both wear hats. Of course.

Hey, Caron Butler, I get it. The whole "giving up pop because someone wants you to" thing. It's not very much fun is it? I mean, yeah, you sleep better. And you don't get that raw feeling in your mouth from drinking too much. But it's still definitely not the best.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting something out of it. If I don't drink pop (or eat junk food) from now until September 9th, my wife is going to buy me The Beatles: Rock Band. I'm guessing you have the same sort of deal with the Wizards, only you'll probably get several thousand dollars in a bonus. Same thing, basically.

Since I heard the news, I've been thinking a lot about how we're very similar, and it's not just the pop thing. For instance, I bet kids called you "Carry-On" because it sounded like your name. That's exactly like when I used to get called "Gay Trey." Rhyming is universal. And remember how you chew on straws (of course you do -- you're you)? I used to do that too.

Oh, and of course, there's the main similarity between our vocations. You play basketball nine months out of the year and make millions of dollars. I make less than a tenth of that sitting at a desk day in and day out. See the similarity? We're both employed in this economy. It's amazing how much the same we are.

So next time you're in Chicago to play the Bulls, give me a call. We can do something that bros like us like to do. Maybe we can go buy some things that are super expensive, or go watch the new Quentin Tarantino movie (you like him, too? I knew it!). You know, stuff for us kinda guys. We'll think of something, I'm sure. Just no pop.