Kevin Garnett Intenses Twitter

Kevin Garnett's current Twitter status:

An Open Letter to People Who Write Open Letters

Dear People Who Write Open Letters,

The people you're writing to never read your letters.

With Love,

goathair

For My Next Trick...

Silly, fools. How dare you question my tactics? You forsake me in the name of Glen Rivers. Do you not recognize me as Master? Do you not remember my timeouts? Never forget my timeouts. They are legendary for a reason.

Nonetheless, doubters, I shall prove myself to you once again. How? I will show you.

I SUMMON THE POWER OF CHRISTOPHER STEVEN MIHM!

Chris Mihm: Really?

GO FORTH AND DO MY BIDDING!

Yes, Christopher. Well done. You have served your master well. Now, show yourself to those who adore you. Bask in their revelry.

Remember, doubters, my Los Angeles Lakers have never lost a Finals game that featured Chris Mihm. Never shall you doubt again.

Never.

Miracles Happen

It's usually beyond the scope of the Blowtorch to discuss religion, but if this doesn't signify something, than I don't make jokes about foreigners. What you see below is an electronic mail message from the pastor that will be performing my marriage ceremony.

Klosterman said that for one decade, God cared about NBA basketball. Maybe he's a really big Lakers/Celtics fan, because it's a blessing that I don't have to reschedule my marriage counselling in order to liveblog.

Occasional Observations on Several Subjects II

Occasional Observations on Several Subjects is where I go to clear my head.

Game 4
- There isn’t really anything that can be said about this game that hasn’t already been said, but I’ll elaborate on a few things that were notable to me.

- I had been talking to Matt and Skeets earlier in the day about how there hadn’t been a really notable game since Game 1 of Suns/Spurs and that all the big storylines thus far in the Finals had been negative (Pierce’s knee, foul nonsense, Donaghy, etc.). Last night changed all that. This was easily the trademark game of this year’s season. It’s ironic that is was an Eastern team over a Western team.

- This is the best dramatic commercial I’ve seen in years:

- For all of Doc’s terrible speeches, he did a fantastic job of coaching last night.

The Internet
- A blowout first half, followed by an incredible comeback, followed by a dramatic finish are the perfect circumstances for a liveblog. You get to talk about whatever’s clever in the first half, and then have exciting things happen in the second. Throw in actual insight throughout and it’s amazing. A huge thanks to Skeets for putting me on over at BDL.

- I’ve considered shutting down the Blowtorch after this season, but in lieu of things that have happened in the last week or so I've realized that was silliness. However, that line of thinking got me wanting to do more "stuff." I don’t know what that means quite yet, but when I figure it out, it’ll be awesome.

- I love that my government name and internet name are used interchangeably in Blogfrica. It’s very Wu-Tang Clan. Now I need to add a “street name,” which I’m hoping will be Trey Stacks.

The Carter 3
- First and foremost, this is NOT a classic album. You cannot have a classic album when only five or six of the beats are any good.

- I think the main reason that Wayne’s mixtapes are so good is that he got to use whatever beat he wanted, then he’d just imitate whatever the original dude’s flow was, and add his Wayne shtick. That way, he sounded natural on the beat but was still doing something different with his metaphors or whatever.

- The thing I HATE about this record is that there are so many songs that have the terrible Southern hi-hat and snare. I can’t stand those things. They make everything sound cut-rate.

- Here’s what would make me really like a Wayne album: work exclusively with the Neptunes and Timbaland to make a sci-fi record. Those beats, coupled with Wayne going off on some space ish would be thrilling.

- If C3 results in a new business model with rappers releasing big mixtapes incessantly the mixtape game is going to get watered down VERY quickly.

Greeting Cards for an NBA Blogger's Significant Other

Moments in Historical Ineptitude with Lamar Odom

The Garden of Eden Eve: Let's get an apple from that tree.
Adam: I don't think that's such a great idea.
Lamar Odom: Dude, it's just an apple.
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The Trojan Horse

Lamar Odom: Hey, guys, free horse!
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Great Chicago Fire
Lamar Odom: Mrs. O'Leary, I let your cow out. He'll be fine, right?
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Titanic
Lamar Odom: We'll be able to get through that ice for sure. This thing can't be sunk.
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Apollo 13
Jim Lovell: Houston, we've had a problem.
Lamar Odom: What? You're breaking up. I'm hanging up now. click