Joakim Noah has bonky hair

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Joakim Noah

Strengths: high energy, good passer, bonky hair, really annoying to play against

Weaknesses: shoots a curveball jumper, bonky hair, REALLY annoying period

NBA comparison (best-case): Dennis Rodman, plus a little offense

NBA Comparison (worst-case): Jerome Williams

NBA Comparison (most likely): Tyson Chandler

Brandan Wright has braces

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Brandan WrightStrengths: hops, orthodontia, finishes with both hands

Weaknesses: lack of jumper, lack of ball-handling skills

NBA Comparison (best-case): Chris Bosh

NBA Comparison (worst-case): Tony Battie

NBA Comparison (most likely): Shareef Abdur-Rahim

Corey Brewer, another smiling rookie

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Corey Brewer

Strengths: long arms, staunch defender, cartoonish smile

Weaknesses: not a great shooter, is named Corey, skin and bones

NBA Comparison (best-case): Scottie Pippen

NBA Comparison (worst-case): Doug Christie

NBA Comparison (most likely): Shane Battier

Yi Jianlian hates Milwaukee

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Yi Jianlian

Strengths: ball-handling (alleged), shooting (alleged), dribbling around chairs (confirmed)
Weaknesses: hates bratwursts, cheese, and Wisconsin, may be 100 years old

NBA comparison (best-case): Pau Gasol
NBA comparison (worst-case): Austin Croshere
NBA comparison (most likely): Troy Murphy

Jeff Green; also a fan of smiling

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie previews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Jeff Green

Strengths: passing basketballs, making big plays, not getting called for travelling
Weaknesses: boring name, shoddy jumper

NBA comparison (best-case): Scottie Pippen
NBA comparison (worst-case): Jamal Mashburn
NBA comparison (most likely): Lamar Odom

Mike Conley, Jr. enjoys smiling

For the next few weeks, the Blowtorch will be bringing you a series of rookie reviews (complete with caricatures!) until we get through the first round. It all culminates with a ballin t-shirt commemorating the best draft in the history of awesomeness.

Mike Conley, Jr.

Height: 6'1"
Weight: "180"

Strengths: running fast, jumping high, smiling like a crazy man, getting in to the lane
Weaknesses: shooting a basketball, frowning

NBA comparison (best-case): Tony Parker
NBA comparison (worst-case): Speedy Claxton
NBA comparison (most likely): T.J. Ford

Al Horford is a stout man.

• FanHouse says Darko got burned by ze Magic. Possibly because he'z Darko Milililililic.
• One way of increasing your blog traffic is by linking all over the place. Supposedly it's good karma. I think there might be something to this linking thing, but I'm not sure. Perhaps I'll try it.
• I like this little article, mainly because my lady will be a basketball coach soon. I also like it because it means all the stupid shots I've practiced for years aren't really that stupid.
• I whole-heartedly agree with Shanoff about how you can spontaneously start liking Joakim Noah. And here's an article might help.
• Milwaukee drafting Yi Jianlian is terrible on so many levels. Not only will he not play for them, if he wants he can sit out the year and re-enter the draft next year. That means the Bucks would get nothing with the 6 pick in the best draft in many moons. Not to mention that he wouldn't fit in with the Bucks anyways. Bad idea jeans, Milwaukee.
• I've just decided to learn the collective bargaining agreement. Then I can get an NBA job.
• SLAVA MED-VE-DANKO!