Found Item: The Minnesota Timberwolves Draft Board

During last night's draft, a lot of people were getting a kick out of the Timberwolves drafting every point guard they could during the first round. It was so funny, in fact, that I coined* the name TimberLOLves to describe the foibles of new GM David Kahn. But then I got my hands on what I am told was their only drafting resource. Then things made sense. Have a look:

*Another coined term from last night: Ricky RubiBro, which is going to be huge.

Where Are They Now?: Gold Medal Point Guards Edition

Jason KiddAfter spending time over seas, Jason was amazed by Asian culture. He has since ordered his own set of Anime Eyes.

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Dwyane Wade

Dwyane recently made history as the first African-American, non-employee to attend a Florida Marlins baseball game.

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Chris Paul

Chris has taken to modelling. You can see him here, sporting a jersey my sister would have worn in fifth grade.

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Deron Williams

Deron has spent time relaxating and keeping the snakes away from his seed.

Seattle Point Guards Crack Me Up

The point guard position for the Seattle SuperSonics is kind of hilarious. Every guy that gets burn looks like the kind of guy that plays in every open gym across America. And the things that's even funnier is that they play like the guy they look like! Here are their PGs:

Earl Watson
First things first, dude looks like every ethnicity rolled in to one. He's got a Cholo mustache. He is vaguely Asian. And I'm pretty sure he's actually Black. It's intriguing. Second things second, you've played with Earl Watson. He's that guard that handles the ball really well but never really goes anywhere with it. He'll throw some pretty passes, but ultimately, he's just a place holder. He can't finish around the cup and he's not an impact defender. And of course his name is Earl Watson, but he doesn't live in early 1900s Great Britain, EXPLAIN THAT.

Delonte West
There was this guy I used to play with that me and my buddy Bonesaw called Socks. He always wore his socks jacked up to his knees (CLEVER, RIGHT?), he only used one of his hands, and he shot every time he touched the ball. For the most part, he went to the rack but he wasn't against shooting some ill-advised threes. Essentially, he's Delonte West. Except Socks didn't look like a tattooed alien corpse with an STD from some nasty girl.


Luke Ridnour
Guaranteed Lukey R. can tell you all about the new MF Doom or Talib joint. Don't tell me he wouldn't join a "Legalize It!" Facebook group and listen to underground hip-hop.

On Point

A couple of mornings ago, I was listening to some sports show and the hosts declared that point guard was the marquee position in the NBA. And while I can’t buy in to that (how many superstars are point guards?), most people would agree that point guard is the most important position on the court. Furthermore, the remaining 8 teams provide us a chance to examine just how integral a point guard is to a team. Here’s how I see them ranked.

1. Steve Nash – Phoenix Suns: Easy choice. Nash is the reason anything on the Suns works. He sets the tempo for the whole game within the first 5 minutes and his effect carries on even when he’s replaced by Barbosa (who is better than half the players on this list). D’Antoni couldn’t have found a better guard to lead his attack.
2. Jason Kidd – New Jersey Nets: It’s kind of weird to think that it was 5 years ago that people were talking about Jason Kidd being the best point in the league. He’s just as good now as he was then. He’s still got an UGLY jumper, but not as bad as New Jersey’s red unis.
3. Chauncey Billups – Detroit Pistons: Originally I had Billups and Parker tied for the number three slot, but Billups means a lot more to the Pistons than Parker does to the Spurs. They’re both more lead guards than pure points, but that’s what their coach needs from them. I don’t know of a more clutch guy than Chauncey who isn’t named Robert Horry.
4. Tony Parker – San Antonio Spurs: Like I said, I see him just about equal to Billups, but playing with Tim Duncan is a definite upgrade from Wallace/Webber. Dude does have a few chips though. But when the Spurs need a basket, they aren’t running their offense through Parker. Lastly, it’s hard for me to rank Tony Parker too high because his brother, T.J., is the worst smelling person I’ve ever played against.
5. (tie) Deron Williams – Utah Jazz: I’m a big Deron Williams guy. Even though the dudes at The Basketball Jones disagree, I see a lot of Jason Kidd in his game. He’s a solid playmaker, he’s deceptively quick, and he’s a decent rebounder for a guard. However, after today’s podcast (click that link to hear Skeets and Tas mildly ridicule me), I’ll retract my statement that Deron Williams is tubby. He just has a short neck. But he does kind of look like this:

5. (tie) Baron Davis – Golden State Warriors: I was a big Baron Davis fan when he came out of UCLA, but the injuries caused him to fall off for a minute. I’m glad he’s back to playing out of his mind. However, 7 games does not a star make. Baron might be a terrific guard but I want to see more of him, his beard, and the Warriors.
7. Kirk Hinrich – Chicago Bulls: Being a Bulls fan, I wish I were higher on Hinrich. He’s a tough defender, can hit some shots, and is a good leader. But there is just too much about him that isn’t complete. I think he can run a championship contending team, but I’m not too sure the combination of him and Gordon will take them over the top.
8. Larry Hughes – Cleveland Cavaliers: I despise Larry Hughes.