Kinda Worried About Dwyane Wade

I don't know if you guys have see Dwyane Wade lately, but something is wrong.Maybe he's let himself go since the Heat got ousted. Maybe he's just bulking up for next season so he can be indestructible. Maybe V.A.S.T. is involved somehow. No matter what it is though, it isn't good.

Hope he isn't the next Michael Sweetney.

Hope he isn't the next Oliver Miller.
Hope he isn't the next Nate Dogg. Hope he finds his neck so he doesn't have to be like these guys.

I just don't want to wake up one Saturday morning and turn on the TV while I'm eating scrambled eggs and see a TLC special called "Dwyane Wade a Lot of Pounds." Because if he ends up just as a fat guy who is just a meme, I'll be sad. I don't want him to be the next Frog Baby.

Even though I think Dwyane basically dresses like a fancy Steve Urkel (but not Stephon Urquelle) he doesn't deserve to have to shop at the Big and Tall store. Their jeans don't even have any adornments. They're just pieces of straight blue denim, and if Dwyane Wade has to wear those, he'll be pretty mad.

He just needs to get healthy again. Maybe Steve Nash can help.Get better Dwyane Wade. It was nice having you around this year.

Get Off of My TV, Michael Sweetney

This is getting depressing.

Are you kidding me with Michael Sweetney? The only decent analogy I can find for his “unique” build is that of my fambly cat Falulah Delores, Foo Foo for short. Typically we describe her as a raccoon with a kitten head on top because she’s so fat. Not a good look.

Seriously though, why did Sweetney get any tick last night? Dude comes in and throws up two ugly Georgetown hooks. Works for Mourning, Ewing, and (occasionally) Mutumbo but certainly not for Fats Sweetney. I can’t fathom a world where an Eastern Conference champion features the services of Michael Sweetney, let alone contending for the NBA title. I mean, the Knicks gave up on him (possibly because they cornered the market on fat guys with tiny heads after drafting Michael Wright) and the Knicks are garbage.

It’s becoming more and more apparent to me that the Bulls won’t win anything with Skiles as the head coach. Call it the Carlisle Corollary, but sometimes a coach is perfect for rebuilding but they can’t take the team to the next level. His refusal to deal with psychos (Tim Thomas, J.R. Smith, etc.), while good for team character, has left the team devoid of any real offensive forces. Deng and Gordon (ENGLAND NATIONAL TEAM?) are tough but if their shots aren’t falling the team strrrrrrrugles. I’d just love to have some cat who can take his man to the whole hard anytime he wants. Or a consistent post scorer. Or pretty much anyone but Michael Sweetney.