1 horse-shaped steak
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon cumin
14 oz. ginger ale
Coarse kosher salt
Picture of Jamal Mashburn
8 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 tablespoon finely ground gingersnap cookie dust
3 oz. goose grease
Combine ginger ale, six tablespoons of oil, and goose grease in gallon plastic bag. Add steak. Marinate outside in 100 degree heat, with 89% humidity for 14-16 days. Remove from marinade and place steak on picture of Jamal Mashburn (can substitute Erick Strickland or Martin Muursepp depending on preference) for 24 minutes.
While steak is on picture, heat non-stick skillet and remaining olive oil on high, until smoking. After 24 minutes, remove steak from picture and place on skillet. Place oregano in a small mound on the non-cooked side, and eat half of the gingersnap cookies. After 6-8 minutes, flip steak, keeping the oregano mound intact. Place cumin in a small mound on the side of the steak that is facing up. The mound should be exactly opposite of the oregano mound, making the eyes of the horse. Cook for 6-8 minutes. Eat other half of gingersnap cookies.
Remove from heat and place on massive flatscreen LCD television. Add salt to taste.