September 11, 2009

Occasional Observations on Several Subjects: Michael Jordan Thoughts

  • My due date was February 17th, 1984, which was Michael Jordan's 21st birthday. As anyone who has studied Nordic mythology will tell you, sharing a birthday with someone gives you that person's powers, meaning that I was to inherit at least some of Michael Jordan's skills. However, my mom's womb was so warm, and her amniotic fluid so nourishing that I hung out for another two days and was finally born February 19th. As such, I became an average basketball player with a rump the size of Jahidi White's, with whom I share a birthday. Tough break.

  • The second pair of shoes I remember owning as a child were aqua Sky Jordans.
    Back then, they called kids' sizes Sky rather than Air. I was convinced, at 6, that this was because theoretically, you could touch the sky, but not the air. Like there was ground, then sky, then air. Even with that reasoning, teachers let me skip first grade. Suckers.

  • The first pair of shoes I remember owning were paint splattered Chuck Taylors.

  • My history with the Air Jordan XI is well documented. Even though they're quite beat up and eight years old, I'm wearing them today.

  • Jordans I have owned that I remember off the top of my head include: Jordan V (aqua), Jordan VI (black), Jordan VII (Olympic, black), Jordan XII (white), Jordan XI (white), Melo 4 (Oak Hill), Jordan 2009 (black).

  • The Jordan 2009 is a sad story. I bought them about a week ago, brought them home, and wore them around the house for a little. Because my ankles are apparently made out of marshmallow, I returned the shoes and got LeBrons instead. It's the first time I've ever chosen LeBron over Jordan, and it made me have sadness at least 3%.

  • I'm pretty proud that if you Google Image Search "Jordan XI," this website is the first result.

  • All my life I've been told that Michael Jordan was a well-dressed man. He's been on the cover of GQ multiple times. I've now come to believe that this is one of the greatest myths of all time, because look at these.

    Then: Now:
    Liars!

  • In a similar vein, I have two Jordan Brand samples that I got from a Nike store that my wife absolutely hates. One is a reversible blue zip-up vest, and the other is a bright orange elephant print jersey. These are kept in a special drawer where no one will see them, and I can't figure out why she doesn't like them.

  • I'm of the opinion that Jordan should have been inducted in to the Hall of Fame immediately after he retired in 1998. Not only would this have honored Jordan like Gretzky had been, it probably would have kept him from returning to the Wizards as well. Win win.

  • Michael Jordan is my favorite athlete of all-time. He tops a list that includes Deion Sanders, Dennis Rodman, Chipper Jones, and Ryne Sandberg by miles. My mom loved him. My dad loved him. My sister was in the Shaq fan club, but that's beside the point. My wife loved him. Her mom and dad loved him (they also loved Bill Wennington, and there's a candid picture of him displayed in my living room). I still watch his games on DVD. I still read everything I can about him. I can understand why people didn't like him, and that he's probably a terrible person, but he's one of my heroes. He's why I love basketball. He's why I love Nike. He's a big part of why I'm me.

3 comments:

vittoriodezen said...

Nice tribute. He's my favourite athlete of all-time, too. It was Magic Johnson at first, but Jordan overtook him quickly.

I couldn't agree more about the Gretzky-style immediate HOF induction. Even now, I think he should get his own ceremony, so he doesn't overshadow Admiral, Sloan, and Stockton.

todd. said...

I was on board to have his number retired by all 30 teams until I heard Rick Reilly suggest it on SportsCenter this morning. I can't really be involved with anything Rick Reilly supports.

KneeJerkNBA said...

Usually I just jump on a message board and talk shit or say something funny but this column was a very nice read. Thanks.