September 23, 2009

A Businessman and a Business, Man

Somewhere in New Jersey or Russia...

Excuse me, sir. Are you Mr. Jay Z?
For shizzle, my nizzle.

Excellent. I am a successful Russian entrepreneur and I have some questions about your basketball squad. Where do you dribble?

Down in V-A.

I was lead to believe that you had ownership of the New Jersey Nets basketball club. As English is not my native language, perhaps I am confused. Is New Jersey part of V-A?


I assume that laugh is one of sarcasm, meaning that V-A and New Jersey are separate locales. I am interested in purchasing all or part of your New Jersey Nets basketballing club. I would not like to purchase your dribbling organization in V-A.

We don't believe you, you need more people.

Quite the opposite, Mr. Z. As I mentioned before, I am a successful Russian businessman. I have amassed a small fortune by selling Americans things that they think are extremely Russian. Items such as vodka, communism, eagle head soup, and tickets to ballet shows. This has proved to be very lucrative. So lucrative in fact, that I hope to replicate its success in my homeland. My first order of business is purchasing an American sports team that no one cares about, but that Russians think Americans care about. Hence, I'd like to offer several billion dollars to own these New Jersey Nets basketballers.

(puts on glasses)
Allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Hov.

1 comment:

3rdStoneFromTheSun said...

this was hilarious!