June 19, 2009

Two Lakers Fans Enjoy the Championship Celebration

The Lakers won the NBA championship. The Lakers threw a party about it. Two lucky fans were wily enough to sneak on stage for the festivities. The Blowtorch got their stories.

Darren Adams: Raul and I have planned this sort of thing for quite some time. We always knew that whenever the Lakers won another title, we were going to be there with them, so when it finally happened, we put our plan in action.

Raul Torres: The first thing we knew was that we'd have to look natural up there, but we're little guys, so we needed disguises. Basically, we would try to look like support staff.

DA: It's hot in Los Angeles. I don't know if you know this, but there's a rumor that if you stand in one place in Los Angeles for more than 15 seconds, the chemical make-up of your body can change. That's why Mickey Rourke looks like he does. Anyways, we figured we didn't want to be dying up there, so a t-shirt and some dad shorts was the way to go.

RT: Right after the last game, Darren and I ordered the championship shirts that were being advertised, figuring that lots of people around the stage would have them on. We were right.

DA: The worst part was getting in the stadium. Security was so intense they actually had to call Vin Diesel back in to be a bouncer. If you've seen the new Fast and Furious, you'll know why he jumped at the job.

RT: Once we got past Vin, it was easy to get on stage. The shirts and shorts were perfect, and when we put on sunglasses we looked like anybody else who didn't look like they belonged on stage.

DA: The thing that really stood out to me was how bad Shannon Brown smelled. I mean, I would have expected it from Vujacic, but Shannon looks pretty well-groomed. Must have been the humidity.

RT: Yeah, I noticed that too. I always thought those stink lines you see in cartoons were just a joke, but if you paid attention, you could actually see, like, ripples of odor coming off of him. It was a little disturbing. But I guess that explains why they call him "Stanky Leg."

DA: Other than Stanky Leg, everyone else was cool. I thought it was weird that Lamar Odom wore his pajamas, but he's a strange guy. I'm pretty sure he brought a ferret with him too.

RT: He definitely had his ferret with him, and I can't be sure because he was pretty far away, but I think he called it Lamar.

DA: All in all, it was a great time. I'm really glad we got to experience it from so close, even if we did have to deal with Shannon Brown.

RT: Would I do it again? Probably. I just hope they figure out how to get rid of that smell.


kenneth said...

As I was watching the ceremony at the coloseum, I was wondering who the heck are those guys. There was one clean shot of Raul sitting on those purple chairs. Lol I thought RT was Craig Hodges

George said...

Where does one shop for dad shorts? Old Navy?

goathair said...

Old Navy is good. So are Kohls, Eddie Bauer, and LL Bean.

Cactus Berry said...

Out of curiosity, why Shannon?

goathair said...

That's who they're standing next to.

Cactus Berry said...

That's not him.I don't know who it is, but I do know Shannon was wearing a Carpe Diem shirt to the parade, and that man they're standing next to is wearing the caricature shirt.

Plus, Shannon was standing on the right side of the stage: http://bit.ly/qC7wu

Finally, a closer look at the yellow-hatted man reveals that is clearly NOT Shannon: http://bit.ly/z5hYa

LOL, I think it was B. Shaw or one of the coaching assistants. Unless Shannon odor was so pungent they could smell him from all the way over there?

The Dude Abides said...

I'm guessing that the guy in the blue square is Rudy the equipment manager. Red square is Craig Hodges, Laker shooting coach. Yellow hat might be Laker assistant coach Jim Cleamons, who was a rookie on the first LA Laker championship team in 1972.