June 22, 2009

Phil Jackson's Summer Acting Camp

Hi, I'm Phil Jackson, and I want to tell you about something deep in my heart. You might know me as the basketball coach of the National Basketball Association's Los Angeles Lakers. Or maybe from my 1990s stint as coach of the Chicago Bulls and Michael Jordan. And while I deeply love basketball, my true passion is the stage.

I love acting with the intensity of a thousand burning suns. Ever since my role as the titular character in my 8th grade performance of Pippin, I've been infatuated with honing my craft. Now that the NBA season is over, I've decided to share my knowledge through Phil Jackson's Summer Acting Camp.

Phil Jackson's Summer Acting Camp is an intensive 8 week course that promises to teach you the ins and outs of stage, television, and film acting. You'll learn everything you could need to know from me, Phil Jackson. For instance, dramatic acting.

"I don't know how to put this, Eric. You have...you have...I don't believe it...how did you...how could you...I've never seen this before...where does an infestation of nanobots even come from? begins crying I'll do my best, Eric. I'll do my best...I'll do my best."

And scene.

That was from my still-in-production screenplay BloodBots. It's a sci-fi film that I'm still trying to iron out, but you get the idea.

Another of my specialties is the "crazy" character. You know the kind. He just can't suffer the injustices of this world any longer, then he snaps. Take a look.


And scene.

The monologue I just performed is from a television series that I'm pitching called Jill Faxson: Lady Detective. I'm hoping to play her sidekick Eric, your typical loose cannon.

But lest you think Phil Jackson's Summer Acting Camp is all doom and gloom, I'll also be teaching comedic acting. This monologue is from another screenplay I'm writing called Bigs. I play a basketball coach who can't communicate with his centers. One center, played by Antonio Banderas, is from Spain. The other is a younger guy who just wants to party, and will be played by Tracy Morgan. Watch and learn.

"Paul, put your pants back on. I said flash TO the high post, not flash the high post."

And scene.

As you can see, Phil Jackson's Summer Acting Camp is a full-fledged learning experience. I, Phil Jackson, will teach you everything you've ever wanted to know about acting, and then some. For additional details, email my management. Hope to see you soon.

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