April 16, 2009

Whatever, Dwight Howard

It's finally happened; the slam dunk has lost its cache.

You're probably thinking, "yeah, right. Go back to Alabama where they don't even have SLAM at bookstores and you'll end up having to read Can I Keep My Jersey? even though it's not that great. That's what you deserve for saying dunking isn't cool anymore. A place that hates basketball. Go there." But I didn't even say dunking isn't cool, so you're kind of being a jerk.

The point is, this picture of Dwight Howard. I carefully analyzed each and every human in it who isn't Dwight Howard in order to test my theory. Check it out:

Everyone hates Dwight

(click for full-size)

KEY

Green - actually enjoying this slam dunk shot

Yellow - refusing to watch, out of boredom

Red - visibly upset by the dunk

Light blue - skeptical

That's inarguable evidence right there, pal. These people are so fed up with Dwight Howard just dunking all the time. They're like, "sweet dunk Dwight." Then they roll their eyes to their friend behind Dwight's back.

So why don't you just lay off and stop telling me to go back to Alabama. I saw a kid there wearing a full Dwight Howard uniform, but with the new Melo's and socks, TO THE BEACH. Think about it.

2 comments:

Seth said...

Red box, farthest left: Sean May

niles said...

great post! Your right, but its also because nba arenas are not set up for people to just watch the game. Why tony Batie isn't into it is the real question.