Overheard at Last Night's Lakers Game

During the first quarter... So excited to be at the Lake Show
I'm having so much fun, you must know
My mustache doesn't even connect
Spotty facial hair, what did you expect?

(Unintelligible rapping)

(Gibberish)

The Lakers I love
The things I've tried
To be part of
The team don't work
Ever wonder if it's all for you.

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At halftime...

Is Jack down there? Have you guys seen Jack? Just let me know if he's down there. I need to know if he likes my black jacket and baseball hat look. I got it from him. Oh, and maybe he can explain why I'm wearing a Grambling hat.

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During the third quarter...

Oh, so some honkeys get to sit in the front row, mang? Estupido. Chicano can't get some seats, hombre? NBA be cheto packin' us all back here. Mexicans and white people are different.

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During the fourth quarter...


Every [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted]ing game I [expletive deleted]ing come to is a [expletive deleted] blowout. What the [expletive deleted]?! I pay [expletive deleted]ing $2600 for this [expletive deleted] seat and I have to watch some [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted]ing Mormons drag their [expletive deleted] sorry [expletive deleted]es all over the [expletive deleted] court in their [term for homosexuals][expletive deleted] baby blue jerseys that look like a [expletive deleted] robin's egg took a [expletive deleted] on them. Is it me? Did I do something to deserve this [expletive deleted][expletive deleted]?!

Does this shirt make me look fat? [Expletive deleted], it does doesn't it? [Expletive deleted]. No wonder none of these [expletive deleted]ing Lakers girls will even look at me. What a [expletive deleted]ing waste of [expletive deleted]ing money that could have went to a [expletive deleted] steak or some [expletive deleted]. [Expletive deleted] me.