February 25, 2009

NBA Players I Think I Could Beat in a Fight

This is me. I am 6 feet 5 inches tall, and I weigh around 220 pounds. I am 25 years old. According to this 2006 survey, I'm just about the average NBA player, except the 4ish years of experience. Unfortunately, I've yet to be called up from the Glendale Heights Park District Men's A League. I'm surprised, too.

I'm pretty even-keeled. I don't have a terrible temper, but I also won't back down from a confrontation. Two Sundays ago, I nearly started a riot at my men's league game, due to an intentional foul. While I'm not actively seeking out fights, if someone were to start one with me, I'm going to defend myself. Of course, I'm a genial fellow, so I haven't been in a legitmate fight since 4th grade when I beat up Mike Punkachar in my living room.

But being average-sized, I thought it was necessary that I put together a list of players who I think I could beat in a fight. Even though Barack Obama wouldn't let it happen, there's a chance that another Pacers/Pistons brawl could happen at any time. Here is the list of NBA players I think I could beat in a fight, with a short description why:

  • Alex Acker - probably asthmatic.
  • Maurice Ager - lacks peripheral vision.
  • Alexis Ajinca - seems awkward.
  • Morris Almond - too pretty.
  • Chucky Atkins - named Chucky.
  • Jose Barea - tiny.
  • Marco Bellinelli - extreme tan suggests vanity.
  • Goran Dragic - appears to be 11.
  • Kevin Durant - weak.
  • Daniel Gibson - well-groomed, and therefore unconcerned with physical contact. Nicknamed "Boobie."
  • Manu Ginobili - would fall.
  • Kyle Korver - avoids confrontation.
  • Rashard Lewis - timid/easily bruised.
  • Tyronn Lue - small wingspan and top-heavy.
  • Steve Nash - brittle.
  • Chris Quinn - looks like this:

  • Cheikh Samb - easily distracted by shiny objects.
  • Sun Yue - weighs 120 pounds. Possible martial artists. May re-think this one.
  • Roko Ukic - pregnant.
  • Yao Ming - slow, lots of surface area for striking.


Juan Louis said...

hahaha very nice.

Rob Fitz said...

Brian Scalabrine - Marshmallows

Anonymous said...

I think Lewis and Samb have probably got your number. The rest I'll accept.

Travis Milne said...

lmao off at Chris quinn. im only 6'0" and 190 but i think i could kick his ass.

oh and sun yue..he' shy as hell. he'd probably back away.

jylze said...

not yao ming, he weighs 300 pounds. and not a soft 300 pounds either.

mark madsen? a VERY soft 250.

FreeCashFlow said...

Amare Stoudemire - Detached Retina

Nick said...

Idk about steve nash...He tried to play/played with a huge gash on his nose during that one spurs game. I think hes a pretty tough guy.

Anonymous said...

luke ridnour anyone??

tj ford? mike dunleavy? sergio rodriguez?

throw in t-mac or is that a bit harsh?

Anonymous said...

haha shit is funny. also add vince carter.. if you smacked him in the jaw he'd sit and cry for a few years based on how he's dealt with other injuries.

Barry Washington said...

Chucky Atkins wouldn't be easy.

Besides, if his name is Chucky that just means he may pull out a knife at any given moment. (the doll)

Anonymous said...

If you googled Kyle Korvers weight lifting habits you'd think twice about taking him on. All I'm saying ...

Anonymous said...

I googled Kyle Korver ... I was actually thinking of Matt Harpring. Get on with it.

Anonymous said...

is it me or will chris quinn look like Henry Abbott in about 80 years?

Anonymous said...

視訊交友網 080視訊聊天室 ※免費視訊聊天室※ ※免費視訊聊天室※ 視訊聊天室 成人影音視訊聊天室 ut影音視訊聊天室 ※免費視訊聊天室※ 視訊ukiss聊天室視訊ukiss聊天室 視訊交友90739 視訊交友90739 情人視訊網 168視訊美女 168視訊美女 168視訊美女 視訊美女館 視訊美女館 免費視訊美女網 小高聊天室 小高聊天室 aio交友聊天室 aio交友聊天室 交友聊天室 交友聊天室 線上a片 線上a片 線上a片 線上a片 線上a片 免費線上a片 免費線上a片 嘟嘟成人網站 成人漫畫 情色文學 嘟嘟成人網 成人貼圖區 情色文學成人小說 微風成人區 情色貼圖區 免費視訊聊天 免費成人圖片區 愛情公寓 愛情公寓聊天室 寄情築園小遊戲 免費aa片線上看 aa片免費看 情色SXE聊天室 SEX情色遊戲 色情A片 免費下載 av女優 俱樂部 情色論壇 辣妹視訊 情色貼圖網 免費色情 聊天室 情人視訊聊天室 免費a片成人影城 免費a片-aa片免費看 0204貼圖區 SEX情色 交友聊天-線上免費 女優天堂 成人交友網 成人情色貼圖區 18禁 -女優王國 080視訊美女聊天室 080視訊聊天室 視訊交友90739 免費a片 aio 視訊交友網 成人影城-免費a片※免費視訊聊天※85cc免費影片日本線上免費a片 免費色咪咪影片免費色咪咪影片aaa片免費看影片aaa片免費看成人影城情人視訊高雄網sex520免費影片080聊天室080聊天室aa的滿18歲影片免費av18禁影片免費av18禁影片免費av18禁影片aa的滿18歲影片

Anonymous said...

85cc免費影城 愛情公寓正妹牆川藏第一美女 成人影片 情色交友網 美女視訊 美女視訊 視訊情人高雄網 JP成人影城 383成人影城 aa片免費a片下載 a片線上看aa片免費看 ※a片線上試看※sex520免費影片※ aa片免費看 BT成人論壇 金瓶影片交流區 自拍美女聊天室 aa片免費a片下載 SEX520免費影片 免費a片 日本美女寫真集 sex520aa免費影片 sex520aa免費影片 BT成人網 Hotsee免費視訊交友 百分百貼影片區 SEX520免費影片 免費視訊聊天室 情人視訊高雄網 星光情色討論版 正妹牆 383成人影城 線上85cc免費影城 85cc免費影城 85cc免費影城 85cc免費影城 ※免費視訊聊天室※ ※免費視訊聊天室※ 免費視訊聊天室 85cc免費影片 85cc免費影片 080苗栗人聊天室 080苗栗人聊天室 080中部人聊天室 080中部人聊天室 免費a片下載 免費a片 AA片免費看 aa片免費看 aa片免費看 aa片免費看 aa片免費看 日本av女優影片 av女優 av女優無碼影城 av女優 av女優 百分百成人圖片 百分百成人圖片 視訊情人高雄網 電話交友 影音電話交友 絕色影城 絕色影城 夜未眠成人影城 夜未眠成人影城 色咪咪影片網 色咪咪影片網 色咪咪影片網 色咪咪影片網 色咪咪影片網 免費色咪咪貼影片 免費色咪咪貼影片 色情遊戲 色情遊戲 色情遊戲 色情遊戲 影音視訊交友網