January 14, 2009

Someone Needs to Monitor Michael Jordan's Brand

I'm a big fan of Michael Jordan (obviously - see above) and I'm nearly as big of a fan of his brand (obviously - see here). Howevsies, I'm just as big of a fan of pointing out things that don't make sense.

With those few things in mind, answer me this question:

Would someone please quality control Michael Jordan's endorsements?

When I was starting out this post, I needed to look at Michael Jordan Steaks. This is hilarious in and of itself, considering that a) why would Michael Jordan have a mail-order steak business and b) his restaurant in Chicago failed. But then, it took the page at least 5 minutes to load. Not an exaggeration where I say it took 5 minutes, but it was really like 30 seconds; a legit 5 minutes.

So when I finally get to the site, I find the image I need. Here it is:

I'm not entirely sure why they used an elderly Black man to sell Michael Jordan Steaks, but then again, I don't have a marketing degree. I'm sure it has something to do with urban markets/demographics/mail-order steak trends, but I'm surprised they just didn't use Michael Jordan.

But maybe I shouldn't be surprised. I mean, they modelled his Upper Deck figurine on Chris Rock:

Look, I know that everything post-Bulls hasn't been a roaring success. The Wizards were bad, then they fired you. The Bobcats are bad. That whole turning-your-restaurant-into-Sammy Sosa's restaurant thing seemed a little harsh. You signed Derek Anderson, Fred Jones, and Bobby Simmons to represent Team Jordan. Roy Jones (Team Jordan) started losing. Marvin Harrison (Team Jordan) shot a guy. You got divorced. I get it.

But can I ask one more question: would it kill you to slide somebody a couple thousand dollars to give your image a once-over? You're ruining our childhoods here.


Sunil Schmunil said...

The elderly man might be his late father.

Sunil Schmunil said...

Isn't the Michael Jordans Steakhouse in NYC midtown doing well ?
Isn't midtown NYC far greater than anywhere else in the world ?

ClassicUniversity said...

Hilarious! yeah mike is VERY out of his element in the real world! Good thing his money is longer than train smoke cause his business decisions suck!!!!!