August 11, 2008

A Guide to Wearing Headbands

It may seem unthinkable now, but back in the late 1990s the headband was rare. You had your Chris Gatlings or your Clifford Robinsons, but that was about it. However, at the turn of the century a courageous group of players broke through the vaunted headband barrier to bring personal expression to a whole new level. That group: the Portland TrailBlazers. Those players: Brian Grant, Rasheed Wallace, Bonzi Wells, Scottie Pippen, Greg Anthony.

The Blowtorch salutes those brave souls. In their honor, please consult the following guide whenever you decide to wear a headband.
-------------
THE STANDARD
Style: The Standard (formerly "the Cliff") is the most commonly seen headband style in today's NBA. Bisecting the player's forehead, the band is worn just above the ears and nestles under the protuberance on the back of the skull.
Currrent Practitioners: Rajon Rondo, Boobie Gibson, Brad Miller
-------------
THE WAYBACK
Stule: The Wayback is worn high on the head, possibly to disguise the unfortunately high "fivehead" that a player might have. While the player may look normal while wearing the headband, once the band is removed their movie screen-esque forehead is prominently displayed.
Current Practitioners: LeBron James, Vince Carter
-------------
THE OLD-TIMER
Style: While the Wayback is worn to disguise a grotesque physical anomaly, the Pierce is worn to combat a receding hairline. The Pierce is typically worn lower on the back part of the head in order to allow for coverage up front. Players who sport the Pierce generally appear slovenly.
Current Practitioners: Paul Pierce, Corey Maggette, Rasheed Wallace
-------------
THE LOW-RIDER
Style: The Low-Rider is worn very low across the forehead, almost covering the eyebrows. It is assumed that this style originated from the wearing of low-slung fitted baseball caps.
Current Practitioners: Allen Iverson, Carmelo Anthony, Jason Terry
-------------
THE JUST A BIT OFF
Style: The Just A Bit Off is worn pushed back on the head in an almost yarmulke-like fashion. This style is generally worn by the player who is goofy, dangerous, crazy, or insane, hence the name.
Current Practitioners: Steven Jackson (circa Brawl), Michael Beasley, Gerald Green
-------------
THE EARMUFF
Style: In general, the Earmuff is worn by an older player who is out of touch with current style trends. Off the court, an Earmuff wearer can often be seen sporting hideous outfits that no sane human would be seen in. Of course, hipsters have co-opted this look.
Current Practitioners: Derek Fisher, Steve Nash, Amare Stoudemire

-------------


THE GENIE Style: The Genie is a rarely seen headband style that takes both the Low-Rider and the Earmuff to the extreme. The band is worn low on the head, covering both the ears and the eyebrows. While this style is extremely rare, it has been captured by cameras on one occasion.
Current Practitioners: Julian Wright

33 comments:

At the Hive said...

Haha, you pull off the Julian perfectly. Nicely done.

Hans Kwan said...

I cant believe you missed Josh Howard for "The Just a Bit Off"!!!

Anonymous said...

I know this is an examination of current headband trends, but doesn't Slick Watts deserve an offhand mention or something?

The Beej said...

I remember a Blazers game where every player had on a headband except Sabonis.

Trey said...

I had a whole bunch of retired players that I couldn't find anywhere to put.

RETIRED STYLES
the Van Exel
the Slick
the Gatling
the Ellison
the Tim Thomas 2-Times

Daniel said...

pics don't work.... please fix

Daniel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

This post is absolute FILTH and a disgrace to the game of basketball. So help me God, if I see you at a Bucks game...

Trev said...

How can you leave Jermaine O'Neal off of the Wayback list. Have you seen that guy without a headband? He could very well be some sort of basketball playing alien and we just haven't figured it out yet.

Anonymous said...

Just to clarify: Is Bonzi a "Wayback" or an "Old-Timer" type of guy?

Anonymous said...

IMO Bonzi wears it either way. Really, as long as he's wearing it (otherwise he might lose his mutant ninja powers). His Hornets photo this year was so wayback it looked like a turban. Plus he looked mad high.

Trey said...

It's impossible to tell as he's never had a hair on any portion of his head. That might be another category -- The Hairless. Also sported by Charlie Villanueva.

Anonymous said...

As long as we're positing potential new categories, a question/suggestion: Perhaps a corollary (featuring a long-haired friend) for the thin, bra-strap-looking hair retention method favored by the likes of Machine and Mike Miller?

If the NBA-to-Europe tide turns and the league once again gets Euroer, the early establishment of such a corollary may come to be viewed as a sterling example of Blowtorch fivesight (which could also be an excellent name for a predictions column). Just a thought.

Anonymous said...

I think LeBrons definetely an oldtimer, have you seen his hairline!!! And Cliff Robinson shouldve got a mention too.

Anonymous said...

This is stupid

Anonymous said...

Where's the tilt...one on the ear, one off?

Anonymous said...

http://media.scout.com/media/image/51/516102.jpg

http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/77834296.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF193C1906FA8287CA61BF5A054ED755547CF284831B75F48EF45

I know he's a college player, bt where would Wayne Chism (#4) rank?

Anonymous said...

You forgot Sean Williams for the 'just a bit off' !

JP

Klute said...

hmmm, how do you account for the euro-soccer player type look ala laetner?

otherwise, outstanding post!

ep said...

LOL, great stuff. "fivehead" and "movie screen-esque forehead" are classic

blogs.sloppypotatoes.com

Anonymous said...

I think that most of this year's Tennessee team could have been included on this list, although Wayne Chism does have by far the most memorable.

Anonymous said...

Hilarity. Well played.

Anonymous said...

Who knew a headband could be so verstile. It's the Vinnie Johnson of sportswear. It would have been funny if LeBron was wearing one in his dance vid LOL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl4vXgwsxPM

Anonymous said...

Looks like you might have missed a couple:

http://www.realgm.com/boards/viewtopic.php?f=32&t=833792

Anonymous said...

uumm... hahahah..

im actually about to do a post of how to wear headbands.. they will probably be similar, except mine will include some long locks and less big and furry bands.

Anonymous said...

"Just A Bit Off": yall forget bout wayne chism. kids got brain head.

Anonymous said...

搬家
搬家
搬家公司
徵信社
徵信
彩妝造型
新娘秘書
票貼
室內設計
室內設計
徵信
徵信社
外遇
徵信
徵信社
外遇
搬家
搬家
花蓮民宿
花蓮民宿
免費a片
a片
免費av
色情影片
情色
情色網
色情網站
色情
成人網
成人圖片
成人影片
18成人
av
av女優

情慾
走光
做愛
sex
H漫
免費a片
a片
免費av
色情影片
情色
情色網
色情網站
色情
成人網
成人圖片
成人影片
18成人
av
av女優

情慾
走光
做愛
sex
H漫
a片
アダルト
アダルト
アダルトサイト
アダルトサイト
離婚
抓姦
外遇蒐證
外遇抓姦
外遇
侵權
仿冒
應收帳款
工商徵信
Shade sail
nike shoes
水泵
电动隔膜泵
自吸泵
离心泵
磁力泵
螺杆泵
化工泵
水泵
电动隔膜泵
自吸泵
离心泵
磁力泵
螺杆泵
化工泵
水泵
电动隔膜泵
自吸泵
离心泵
磁力泵
螺杆泵
化工泵
隔膜泵
气动隔膜泵
隔膜泵
气动隔膜泵
隔膜泵
气动隔膜泵
a片
成人網站
成人影片
寵物用品
情趣用品
情趣用品
MBA
在职研究生
在职博士
補習班
花店
花店
補正下着
中古車買賣
貸款
婚紗
婚紗攝影
補習班
留學
情色
情色
百家乐
轮盘
21点
德州扑克
百家乐系统
真人娱乐场
百家乐
足球
德州扑克
电子游戏
英格兰超级联赛
德国甲组联赛
意大利甲组联赛
西班牙甲组联赛
法国甲组联赛欧冠杯
英超
足球比分
足球彩票
体育彩票
即时比分
堆高機
婚禮佈置
宜蘭民宿推薦
寵物用品
情趣用品
情趣用品
坐月子
植牙
牙齒矯正
租屋
催眠
房屋出租
租房子
xo醬
牛軋糖
牛嘎糖
代償
房屋貸款
信用貸款
失眠
減肥
眼鏡
金門高梁酒
變頻洗衣機

減肥
眼鏡
太陽餅
月餅

睡眠障礙
憂鬱症
躁鬱症
減重
瘦身
中醫減肥
台北中醫減肥
台中中醫減肥
高雄中醫減肥
產後減肥
下半身減肥
下半身瘦身
高雄眼鏡
屏東眼鏡
名牌眼鏡
太陽眼鏡
隱形眼鏡
鐵氟龍
PTFE
中壢花店
林口花店
南崁花店
金莎花束
歌倫比亞 雞腳凍
飲料加盟

口袋秤
度量衡
吊秤
吊磅
電子秤
磅秤
口袋秤
度量衡
吊秤
吊磅
電子秤
磅秤
招牌製作
招牌設計
廣告招牌
大圖輸出
電腦割字
招牌看板
廢鐵
廢銅
廢不銹鋼
廢電線
廢鋁
廢棄物
廢電纜電線
廢塑膠
制服
成衣
戒指
耳環
項鍊
對戒
手鍊
銀飾
飾品
對鍊
護理之家
台中花店
考試
塑膠箱
塑膠容器
工具箱
物流箱
拖板車
自動倉儲
倉儲設備
自行車衣
自行車背包
自行車手套
車衣
債務更生
債務清理
法協
蜂蜜
蜂王乳花粉
農產品
草本膠囊
促進新陳代謝
排便順暢的方法
體內環保

Anonymous said...

Keep blogging.
Good luck.
花蓮入口網|花蓮|花蓮民宿|花蓮美食|花蓮消費券|花蓮旅遊|花蓮|花蓮電影|花蓮海洋公園|花蓮遠來飯店|花蓮提拉米蘇|花蓮客運|蜂王乳|花蓮太魯閣|花蓮廣告|花蓮地圖|花蓮旅遊|花蓮民宿|花蓮房屋|花蓮租車|花蓮汽車|花蓮餐廳|花蓮旅館|花蓮瑞穗牧場|花蓮名產|花蓮3600|花蓮租屋|花蓮理想大地|花蓮民宿|花蓮廣告

Anonymous said...

SEO服务, SEO, 视频聊天, 情色小说 ,anime wholesale ,animme products ,翻译公司 ,视频聊天 ,情色小说 ,北京翻译公司 ,美女图片 ,重庆旅游 ,重庆旅行社 ,美女图片下载 ,美女视频 ,SEO服务 ,SEO ,视频聊天情色小说 ,anime wholesale ,animme products ,翻译公司视频聊天情色小说北京翻译公司美女图片 ,重庆旅游重庆旅行社 ,美女图片下载 ,美女视频 ,SEO, SEO服务, 北京翻译公司视频聊天翻译公司, 重庆SEO, 美女视频, 激情美女视频 , 视频聊天室 ,情色小说, 情色五月天, 美女图片 ,重庆旅游 重庆旅行社 室内套装门 ,重庆注册公司, 信用卡套现, アダルト, 徵信徵信社外遇 ,徵信徵信社外遇 情趣用品, 免費a片, a片, 免費av, 色情影片, 情色 ,情色網, 色情網站色情成人網成人圖片成人影片18成人avav女優情慾走光做愛sexa片免費av色情影片情色情色網色情網站色情成人網成人圖片成人影片18成人avav女優情慾走光做愛sexH漫a片アダルトアダルトサイト離婚抓姦外遇蒐證外遇抓姦外遇侵權仿冒應收帳款工商徵信室內設計公司, 室內裝潢, 室內裝修, 宜蘭民宿, 環保袋 ,shopping bags, アダルト
北京翻译公司视频聊天翻译公司, 重庆SEO, 美女视频, 激情美女视频 , 视频聊天室 ,情色小说, 情色五月天, 美女图片 ,重庆旅游 重庆旅行社 室内套装门 ,重庆注册公司, 信用卡套现, 情趣用品, 室內設計公司, 室內裝潢, 室內裝修, 宜蘭民宿, 環保袋 ,shopping bags, アダルト

Anonymous said...

Keep blogging.
Good luck.
花蓮入口網|花蓮|花蓮民宿|花蓮美食|花蓮消費券|花蓮旅遊|花蓮|花蓮電影|花蓮|花蓮海洋公園|花蓮遠來飯店|花蓮提拉米蘇|花蓮客運|蜂膠|花蓮太魯閣|花蓮廣告|花蓮地圖|花蓮旅遊|花蓮民宿|花蓮房屋|花蓮租車|花蓮汽車|花蓮餐廳|花蓮旅館|花蓮瑞穗牧場|花蓮名產|花蓮3600|花蓮租屋|花蓮理想大地|大月映|花蓮廣告|花蓮租車旅遊-TTA租車公司|花蓮餐廳|花蓮租車旅遊網|花蓮入口網|花蓮旅遊|花蓮|花蓮|花蓮

Anonymous said...

小弟弟貼影片區小弟弟貼影片區小弟弟貼影片區小弟弟貼影片區小弟弟貼影片區小弟弟貼影片區小弟弟貼影片區線上成人色情影片線上成人色情影片線上成人色情影片線上成人色情影片線上成人色情影片線上成人色情影片線上成人色情影片線上成人色情影片線上成人色情影片線上成人色情影片飯島愛免費影片飯島愛免費影片飯島愛免費影片飯島愛免費影片飯島愛免費影片飯島愛免費影片飯島愛免費影片飯島愛免費影片飯島愛免費影片飯島愛免費影片小弟弟影片 免費下載小弟弟影片 免費下載小弟弟影片 免費下載小弟弟影片 免費下載小弟弟影片 免費下載小弟弟影片 免費下載小弟弟影片 免費下載小弟弟影片 免費下載小弟弟影片 免費下載小弟弟影片 免費下載utobe影片 A片 下載教學utobe影片 A片 下載教學utobe影片 A片 下載教學utobe影片 A片 下載教學utobe影片 A片 下載教學utobe影片 A片 下載教學utobe影片 A片 下載教學utobe影片 A片 下載教學utobe影片 A片 下載教學utobe影片 A片 下載教學色咪咪貼影片色咪咪貼影片色咪咪貼影片色咪咪貼影片色咪咪貼影片色咪咪貼影片色咪咪貼影片色咪咪貼影片色咪咪貼影片色咪咪貼影片日本美女 潮吹影片日本美女 潮吹影片日本美女 潮吹影片日本美女 潮吹影片日本美女 潮吹影片日本美女 潮吹影片日本美女 潮吹影片日本美女 潮吹影片日本美女 潮吹影片日本美女 潮吹影片sex888影片分享區sex888影片分享區sex888影片分享區sex888影片分享區sex888影片分享區sex888影片分享區sex888影片分享區sex888影片分享區sex888影片分享區sex888影片分享區性福潮吹影片免費分享性福潮吹影片免費分享性福潮吹影片免費分享性福潮吹影片免費分享性福潮吹影片免費分享性福潮吹影片免費分享性福潮吹影片免費分享性福潮吹影片免費分享性福潮吹影片免費分享性福潮吹影片免費分享免費無碼 線上成人影片免費無碼 線上成人影片免費無碼 線上成人影片免費無碼 線上成人影片免費無碼 線上成人影片免費無碼 線上成人影片免費無碼 線上成人影片免費無碼 線上成人影片免費無碼 線上成人影片免費無碼 線上成人影片觀月雛乃口交影片觀月雛乃口交影片觀月雛乃口交影片觀月雛乃口交影片觀月雛乃口交影片觀月雛乃口交影片觀月雛乃口交影片觀月雛乃口交影片觀月雛乃口交影片觀月雛乃口交影片素人女優 自拍影片素人女優 自拍影片素人女優 自拍影片素人女優 自拍影片素人女優 自拍影片素人女優 自拍影片素人女優 自拍影片素人女優 自拍影片素人女優 自拍影片素人女優 自拍影片小弟第貼影片區小弟第貼影片區小弟第貼影片區小弟第貼影片區aa片免費看微風論壇080哈啦聊天室6k聊天室成人聊天室上班族捷克論壇大眾論壇plus論壇080視訊聊天室520視訊聊天室尋夢園上班族聊天室成人聊天室上班族 a片a片影片免費情色影片免費a片觀看小弟第貼影片區免費av影片免費h影片試看 H漫 - 卡通美女短片小魔女貼影片免費影片觀賞無碼a片網美女pc交友相簿美女交友-哈啦聊天室中文a片線上試看免費電影下載區免費試看a短片免費卡通aa片觀看女優影片無碼直播免費性感a片試看日本AV女優影音娛樂網日本av女優無碼 dvd辣妹視訊 - 免費聊天室美女交友視訊聊天室 080免費視訊聊天室尋夢園聊天室080苗栗人聊天室a片下載

Anonymous said...

無碼日本女優短片試看鄰家女優鄰家女優鄰家女優鄰家女優鄰家女優鄰家女優鄰家女優鄰家女優鄰家女優鄰家女優網路視訊聊天台灣女優台灣女優台灣女優台灣女優台灣女優台灣女優台灣女優台灣女優台灣女優台灣女優無碼女優無碼女優無碼女優無碼女優無碼女優無碼女優無碼女優無碼女優無碼女優無碼女優女優網女優網女優網女優網女優網女優網女優網女優網女優網女優網歐美女優歐美女優歐美女優歐美女優歐美女優歐美女優歐美女優歐美女優歐美女優歐美女優女優探索網女優探索網女優探索網女優探索網女優探索網女優探索網女優探索網女優探索網女優探索網女優探索網一對多視訊聊天女優星球女優星球女優星球女優星球女優星球女優星球女優星球女優星球女優星球女優星球sex女優王國sex女優王國sex女優王國sex女優王國sex女優王國sex女優王國sex女優王國sex女優王國sex女優王國sex女優王國av女優介紹av女優介紹

maggotronix said...

nice post. i was thinking of cliff robinson today in regard to music post i was writing and came across your site as i researched the headband trend. you did forget the walton, who is the original trail blazing headband trail blazer.

http://www.espn.go.com/photo/2007/0304/nba_dime4_268.jpg

nice blog, the birdman birdman topic is something i was thinking about the other day too.

http://henpantha.wordpress.com/