April 15, 2008

The Weakest Link: Utah Jazz

Someone, possibly Karl Marx, once said, “A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.” I don’t really get what that means, but as the playoffs approach, El Blowtorch will be profiling the worst player on each team’s roster. Then, the players will face off in a simulated one-on-one game of NBA 2K8 if it’s available at Video Villa. Obviously, this will provide the in-depth analysis needed to predict the winners for each playoff series. Up next, the Utah Jazz and Jarron Collins…

As Stanford University’s Brook and Robin Lopez await the NBA Draft, a NBA head’s thoughts naturally turn to Stanford’s own fabled Collins twins.

You see, the Collins twins (Jarron and Jason) were very good high school basketball players. So good in fact, that each of them were named to the McDonald’s All-American team. Together, they attended Stanford University where they were still good players, but not great. Each made numerous All-American teams and entered the NBA draft. Jason was picked in the first round while Jarron went late in the second.

Not surprisingly, the Collins twins have become below average pros. Unforeseen to most scouts, the Collins twins lack of athleticism, emotion, and intensity have left them as inconsequential pieces on sometimes decent teams. It is quite the task to determine which of the Collins twins have had the better career. Jason has appeared in an NBA Finals but was recently traded to the Grizzlies. Jarron has seen his playing time dwindle since his rookie year in Utah. So I take it back, it’s pretty obvious Jason is better.

Consider this a warning to all GMs thinking about Brook and Robin Lopez. Separating twins steals their powers.

Fun Facts:
Wears #31 in honor of Reggie Miller…favorite color is chocolate brown…nickname is Chocolate Brown…has sampled sushi from 47 of 50 states…favorite movie is “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”…bench presses 165 lbs.

Proof That Jarron Collins is the Crosseyed:

2 comments:

Sports Tsar said...

these posts are great. when do we get updates on the outcomes of the NBA 2k8 matches?

goathair said...

When I get a copy of the game. Hopefully Friday.