January 11, 2010

Things Mike Bibby Probably Does

As we all know, Mike Bibby is probably the worst. But how much the worst? Along with blog bro Devine, here are some things that are most likely true about Mike Bibby.

Mike Bibby seems like he would...

  • think it's funny to not flush the toilet.
  • DVR "Mind of Mencia."
  • talk about getting a motorcycle a lot.
  • always be saying, "did you see that three I hit last night?" when he knows you were watching the game because he gave you tickets.
  • have a cousin named Doug. (CONFIRMED)
  • see Tyler Perry movies to seem sensitive, then totally bag on them with his boys.
  • get bad tattoos. (CONFIRMED)
  • make his entourage get bad tattoos. (CONFIRMED)
  • insist on having an entourage. (CONFIRMED)
  • think LL Cool J should make more records.
  • know all the words to "Put It In My Mouth."
  • blow a .07 then tell everyone how the secrets to beating the system.
  • try to grow a full beard, but when the cheeks didn't fill out, tell everyone beards were wack.
  • buy the Kid Cudi record.
  • always get himself a bowl of cereal and not even offer you a bowl when he knows you love Lucky Charms.
  • put his feel up on your couch without asking if it's cool.
  • call your dog fat.
  • tell Ellen Hickle that you can't dance, right before you asked her to dance.
  • say that 8 Mile should have won an Oscar.
  • call Jay Leno and Tim Allen his favorite comedians.
  • wear cubic zirconias and try to pass them off as real.
  • buy a $10 supermarket gift card as his Secret Santa present.
  • front about everything.
Add yours in the comments.


Detroit Murder Dog said...

Avoid the dentist (CONFIRMED)

Steve said...

Try to cross-over against every guard just so he has a chance to say, "Doo! Did you see me break that fool's ankle last night?"

That One Blogger said...

Wear a doo-rag to a dinner at the White House

KneeJerkNBA said...

freestyle about how much he hates his father

asamp said...

THIS is why I read this blog.

Chris said...

Call you a "Faggot" for following school zone speed limits.

Both Teams Played Hard said...

Fart in a four-man tent repeatedly and laugh about it

Myf Skypper said...

I like your list but I asked Dasha and she said She really Saw Mike Bibby
A. Whispering about you to his friends and giggling
B. Talking in the adam sandler baby talk voice
c. hissing like a cat all day long
d. telling you that the spins you have to do as part of your sufi mystic lifestyle are "gay"
e. hitting you on the head with a frying pan and saying "the prester john legend aint real faggit"