May 6, 2009

The Utah Jazz Get Their Revenge

Last night I was watching Law & Order because that's what you have to watch if you want watch playoff games on TNT. It was the episode where a guy commits a murder and he thinks he's going to get away with it, but at the end, he ends up getting convicted. You know, that episode.

But I could see through Law & Order's ruse. This whole "show" was a sham. It was a sham show, operated by loyal Utah Jazz fans who have been holding a grudge against the Chicago Bulls for more than 10 years. Finally, through the power of television, they'd have vengeance.

The first thing that tipped me off was hiring Jerry Sloan to serve as fake prosecutor on this fake show about fake courtroom drama. I thought it was interesting how he played against type as a curmudgeonly, rule-following, authoritarian. It was a bold decision by the casting director, and I applaud Sloan for taking the chance. I knew something was up was when Jeff Hornacek showed up as the judge.

So you have Jerry Sloan and Jeff Hornacek working for the public, trying to convict a murderer, who had already been acquited once. Hmmmmm...TWO murders that are TOTALLY illegal and it's SOOO wrong that the murderer actually got away with it. Sounds familiar. Clearly, this is a case (pun) of the Utah Jazz saying that the Bulls didn't deserve their two championships in '97 and '98. Oh, and the murderer? Jud Buechler.

To recap, we have Jerry Sloan and Jeff Hornacek trying to send Jud Buechler to jail for the two murders from which he wrongfully avoided jail time. The only thing that could make this more obviously a smear job is if Buechler's lawyer was a certain athletic shooting guard.

That's right. Pete Myers was hired as the defense attorney. Obviously Jordan isn't going to support this mockery, and there's no way anyone would willingly put Scottie Pippen's wrinkly head on television. Pretty lame, considering he didn't even play for the teams that beat you.

And of course, the dramatic final moments show Pete Myers and Jud Buechler commiserating in their loss IN COURT. How could I forget? Two Utah Jazz beat two Chicago Bulls in court. That couldn't possibly be a coincidence that it sounds just like ON court.

Nice try, Utah Jazz basketball team. Real classy how you had to set up this elaborate plot to get over getting beat by the Bulls ten years ago. I'll be sure to tune in to your other Utah propaganda show, How I Met All Six of Your Mothers.

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