April 16, 2008

The Weakest Link: Phoenix Suns

Someone, possibly Albus Dumbledore, once said, “A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.” I don’t really get what that means, but as the playoffs approach, El Blowtorch will be profiling the worst player on each team’s roster. Then, the players will face off in a simulated one-on-one game of NBA 2K8 if it’s available at Video Villa. Obviously, this will provide the in-depth analysis needed to predict the winners for each playoff series. Up next, the Phoenix Suns and Eric Piatkowski…

Ohhhhh, Eric Piatkowski. Rogue Polishman of the National Basketball Association. How we in Blogwarts have seen your potential and appreciate your efforts. Nonetheless, fine sir, you are not to be feared. It is only in the rarest of cases that an unathletic, short, white man can succeed in this scary world.

It is with great trepidation that you enter the playoffs, wise Eric. The Suns future has been foretold and, sadly, you play the most minor of roles. But fear not! Hold dear to yourself the 36 point explosion on the eve of February 16, 2002. On that day, Eric Piatkowski, you were king.

Fun Facts:
Holds Clippers records for most 3-pointers made and attempted...owns a seafood restaurant in Lincoln, Nebraska...was Mr. Basketball in South Dakota...sole NBA endorser of Crew brand hair products...is a third generation professional basketball player

Further Proof That Eric Piatkowski is a Terrible Break Dancer:

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