November 19, 2007

I Need a Nickname - Kevin Durant


Kevin Durant is the latest in a long line of Next Big Things. However, his nickname "KD" is pretty boring and the suggestion that he could be "Plasticman 2" or something like that reeks of complacency. Ergo, ze Blowtorch suggests some replacements for Mr. Kevin Wayne Durant. Your suggestions are welcome in the comments.


  • The Realest
  • Stretch
  • Buckets
  • CLORPSE
  • Baby-faced Assassin
  • Rebirth of the Cool
  • The Future
  • Nicky Barnes
  • Maryland's Finest
  • Sticks
  • Get Money
  • Daggers
  • Luther Vandross
  • Deo
  • Lotta Shots

Personally, I like "The Realest." "Nicky Barnes" is a fun alter-ego though.

UPDATE: Go vote for Kevin Durant's new nickname. It's on the right.

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kevin Durant: Jules Winnfield

NOT that it makes any sense. But that's how I roll broheim.

Trey said...

I ALMOST put that. And obviously I should have.

Anonymous said...

Kevin Durant- KD
KD- Kraft Dinner

Kevin "The Big Cheese" Durant

Anonymous said...

Kevin Durant: Da Chedda or Da Cheddz

KGoon1590 said...

how about "budda"

as in "oooh, that three was as smooth as budda!"

or just spontaneously after he makes a shot:

"and the shot is up and... BUDDA!!!"

Trey said...

I hope he ends up with several nicknames, like a Wu-Tang member.

Unknown said...

"Durant" always sounds to me like "Durex". Maybe Rubber Man?

He was #2 among high school seniors after Oden, then #2 in the NBA Draft after Oden. I think he should be called "The Big Deuce", especially if he keeps shooting under 40%.

Nathaniel Jones said...

I like the "budda" suggestion. I'd also support an alteration on "Rebirth of the cool" to "Rebirth of Slick" although phrases rarely take off as nicknames. Finally I'll submit "Smoove D" as my personal suggestion.

Anonymous said...

I'm stealing this one from Gus Johnson: Mr. Good Things.

Raskolnikov said...

If we're going to comment on how smooth he is, don't give him a nickname. Like Laozi said:

The Way that can be told of is not an unvarying way;
The names that can be named are not unvarying names.
It was from the Nameless that Heaven and Earth sprang;
The named is but the mother that rears the ten thousand creatures, each after its kind.


Therefore, we should not give him a nickname.

Josh Budd said...

I think some consideration should be given to "The Cowboy"... after all, he'll be an Oklahoma resident soon enough.

Anonymous said...

Can we vote now?

Runners up:
Buckets - too used
Budda - too Barbra Streisand
Big Deuce - too scatalogical
Mr. Good Things - too Captain Kangaroo
The Realest - too Usher

#1 Choice:
Smoove D - because you can never be too Smoove B

Anonymous said...

I would love to call him "Luther Vandross". But I suggest "Britney Spears".

Anonymous said...

Kid Delicious

Anonymous said...

Big Slim? I don't know...I thought it was clever.

Unknown said...

Patrick reminded me of something... speaking of Gus Johnson, I love that David Lee's nickname is "Shallow Water". As in "David Lee should not take a 18-foot, that's the deep end for Mr. Shallow Waters".

And since there is no bad shot for KD, how about "Deep End"?

Jarrett said...

Why don't we let Kenny Smith decide this for us, as we always do?

Phony Gwynn said...

Durant sounds like the Pink Panther theme - durant-durant-durantdurantdurantdurantduraaaaaaaaaaaaant-durantdurant

Therefore I propose The Green Panther.

Anonymous said...

Durantula

Ryan said...

If he ever wins a ring, you could call him the Green Lantern....

Anonymous said...

That's easy...Call KD "Maker's Mark" cause he's smooth but in large amounts he'll burn you!

Anonymous said...

I forget where i heard this one but, "The DURANTula" as in tarantula. he is long-limbed and deadly. Plus it RHYMES!

Eric (Extra P.) said...

I'm partial to "The Big Skinny"

Anonymous said...

Local media is calling him the Durantula.

Anonymous said...

K-Durr
because he'll make opposing defenders feel like retards

"I got schooled by K-Durrrrr"

Anonymous said...

How about "Durantula"?

Anonymous said...

K-Dirt 'cause he likes to get on the floor.

Trey said...

Unfortuntely, "Durantula" cannot be added without messing with the results.

And K-Anything won't be added because it's too common.

Unknown said...

Here in Austin we always called him the Baby Faced Killer

MRB said...

Sorry to be late...
but the nickname is,
and always will be

"Kevin Durant Apocalypse"

Unknown said...

Combo of Wu Tang/Budda:

"Big Baby Budda"

Anonymous said...

How about Austin Powers

Anonymous said...

He already has a nickname--everyone at Texas called him, "K-Dew". You can also pronounce it, "K-Doo". I'm just surprised nobody's taken the Mountain Dew logo and changed it to "K-Dew" yet.

Anonymous said...

Durangutan!!!

Anonymous said...

K-Dew is a gay nickname, and if you use it you're an idiot.

Greg Calhoun said...

There is no argument here:

The Durantula fits his killer game and lengthy limbs. Plus, then he can get all the Spider-Man terminology as I will now demonstrate

The Durantula, sticks to his man on the drive - swatted away!

Number 35, catches on the wing, blows by his man, up for the shot - double clutches to avoid the help side defender. How does he do it - must be the spidey sense!