October 29, 2007

Confession: I'm a Rick Fox Fan

In the spirit of every rapper who has ever existed, I'm letting other people spit hot fire all over this hot Confessions beat. Next up on the mic, Howie, the Hype Fellow.

----------



A player that I am embarrassed to like? Hmm… (thinking… thinking… ow ow OW, using the brain [term for sexing] hurts!) Okay, well, there’s no easy way to preface the answer so I’ll just come right out and say it: RICK FOX.


Hey don’t judge me, this is like Taxicab Confessions right? I’m pouring my pervy little heart out here. Rick Fox’s allure is not so much his style of play or his highlight reels… because well, there aren’t any... I mean it, can you think of The Defining Rick Fox play? He only really mattered when the Lakers needed to be up 15pts in the 3rd quarter instead of 13pts during those championship runs. Other than that, his game is not memorable at all.


He is the role player to the fullest and somehow I chose to like him. My reasoning is all over the place and has little to do with actual gameplay, but hopefully you’ll follow the ride:


Rick Fox is “Canadian.”


At this very moment, you’re probably saying, “Why the quote-unquote “quotes” around Canadian” (while doing an air quotes).Well, he’s as much Canadian as I am from the Bahamas. I’m not by the way. Sure he played on the national team in ’94 alongside an alley-oop happy Steve Nash (I think he’s #7?) Yet he doesn’t quite exude the northern country’s je ne sais quoi qualities that just comes natural to Todd McCullough. But you know what? The 2000-2003 Howie Era didn’t care, all he thought was: “Hey Rick Fox is from Canuckistans? Awesometown!” His name would be rattled off during high school ball practices when we have silly dreams of the league and/or Angelina Jolie. Which actually brings me to the next reasoning:


Rick Fox was once married to Vanessa friggin’ Williams.


You may not agree with me that Eraser is the greatest love story of our generation, but you’ll surely give me that Ms. Williams was hotter than Hades during her prime. And Ricky Fox married her. I don’t think this part needs any more discussion.


Rick Fox is in He Got Game.






AKA the LeBron James Prophecy. He didn’t just have a walking cameo in this movie (um…even though in that clip…he’s…walking. Shut up.) Rick actually had a big plot line in a Spike Lee bong Joint showcasing his chauvinist pig side. You knew he took acting serious man. Which makes him stand out from all the other casual athlete-actors (sorry Ray Allen, your downfall was Harvard Man. Terrible, terrible movie) Ricky is in it for the thespian craft yo.





Rick Fox’s teeth.



Seriously, that thing has a life of its own. I think it can light up Cambodian villages for an entire year. There’s something disarming about a set of teeth so perfect and sharp that I must acknowledge it as the reason I’m embarrassed to confess to like the guy. In fact, I may be starting to confess to something else entirely here. No H.M.!


Rick Fox can play.


As a Laker (never saw him in Boston, so as far as I’m concerned, it never happened), with the luxury of Kobe, Shaq, Fisher, Ron Harper and Phil Jackson, Rick did pretty well for himself. In fact, I’d argue he played the best because he knew just what the team needed out of him (a random clutch 3 pointer here, a drive and dunk there) and made sure to do his part to the max. Sure anyone can fill his role, but he did all that WHILE BEING MARRIED TO VANESSA WILLIAMS.


I rest my case your honor Goathair.


While we’re confessing things: First pic photoshop idea copped from random, but hilarious Kings forum thread dedicated to Mr. Fox (the fan base is stronger than I thought…)

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're dead to me, Hype.

Anonymous said...

Well done, Howie--I didn't think anyone would top KVH.

Passion. Intrigue. Transcendence.

Trey said...

That link will haunt my dreams.

Anonymous said...

TZ, I dunno if this can salvage our relationship... but I was THISCLOSE in doing a Lawrence Funderburke epic (because of the name obvs)

So. Yeah.

Crucifictorious said...

I'm not sure I want to drop this knowledge...

...but contributing to the conversation takes precedence over my diminishing masculinity.

Howie, Rick Fox was in an episode of Ugly Betty a few weeks ago...playing Vanessa Williams' afternoon delight. It was spectacularly cringe-worthy, although I'd bet most people watching the show had no idea who the tall, bad actor was.

(Look, Mrs. Crucifictorious gets to hold the TV remote from time-to-time, and occasionally, even use it).

Unknown said...

Rick Fox always reminded me a bit of Ricardo "RikRok" Ducent, the guy who sang "It Wasn't Me" with Shaggy. I can picture Rick Fox banging the girl next door on the bathroom floor while Vanessa Williams catches him red handed.

Tom Ziller is just jealous because his confession won't be as embarassing as Rick Fox. Or Keith Van Horn. He'll probably pick Pervis Ellison or something...

Anonymous said...

搬家搬家搬家公司 搬家搬家Shade sailnike shoesMBA在职研究生 在职博士徵信社 徵信室內設計室內設計代償房屋貸款信用貸款外遇離婚抓姦外遇蒐證外遇抓姦侵權仿冒應收帳款工商徵信徵信 徵信社外遇徵信徵信社外遇电动隔膜泵自吸泵化工泵离心泵磁力泵螺杆泵水泵隔膜泵气动隔膜泵百家乐 轮盘 21点 德州扑克 百家乐系统 真人娱乐场 百家乐足球德州扑克 电子游戏 英格兰超级联赛 德国甲组联赛 意大利甲组联赛西班牙甲组联赛法国甲组联赛欧冠杯 英超 足球比分 足球彩票 体育彩票 即时比分 免費a片 a片 免費av 色情影片 情色 情色網 色情網站 色情 成人網成人圖片成人影片 18成人 av av女優 avav女優 情慾 走光 做愛 sex H漫 情色 情趣用品 情色 a片 a片 成人網站 成人影片 情趣用品 情趣用品アダルトアダルト アダルトサイト アダルトサイト 情趣用品搬家搬家服務搬家保障搬家網搬家估價徵信徵信的意義徵信服務徵信報導徵信問答徵信知識

Anonymous said...

福~
「朵
語‧,最一件事,就。好,你西.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................