Why, Subway, Why?

Like a lot of people, I enjoy a good sandwich. However, I also like a cheap and fast woman sandwich which is why I will occasionally enjoy lunch at a local Subway. And though Subway provides a decent sandwich for a reasonable price, there is one thing they do that drives me absolutely bonkers.

Sure it can be frustrating to get your sub toasted and have it cut your mouth since it is so rough. And yes, despite Michael Strahan’s insistence, they don’t put enough meat on your sandwiches. These are things that you know might happen when you go to a Subway. Quality can vary from store to store, but that’s a risk you have to take when you decide to eat at a fast food sub shop. But there is one thing that consistently annoys me and occurs at every Subway I go to:

They give you two napkins.

Why can’t I decide how many napkins I get? How come two is the designated number that I get to clean my face while eating a sandwich? Why do you get two napkins regardless of the sub you get? A 6 inch turkey breast and foot-long meatball sub are far different beasts, and therefore, require far different cleanings. It’s totally ridiculous that a successful chain restaurant like Subway can be so communistic with their napkin distribution.

Seriously, every other restaurant allows you to get your own napkins based on how terrible of an eater you are. I know that I’m a total menace and I typically take more than two measly napkins to clean up after I eat. Furthermore, how much could it possibly cost to let your customers get their own napkins? I assume there must have been some sort of terrible napkin catastrophe in Subway’s past.

Subway, I beg of you – please just let me get my own napkins. I promise that my desire for more napkins won’t put you out of business. And if you’re really worried about money, cut Jon Lovitz and Tony Stewart loose. No one cares about them anyways.