In Case You Were Wondering

I don't know how it happened, but it did.

Pirates are overrated.

They have most definitely jumped the proverbial shark. It may have occured when they started selling pirate shirts at Hot Topic, but I'm not positive. So with that being said, I'd like to let you in on a little information:

Werewolves are the new pirates.

You were probably thinking ninjas would be the new pirates, but they too will jump the shark if they already haven't. So think about it. Werewolves. Yeah, that works.

Operation Cut the Fat

Recently, me and Mr. Adam Hansen have been embarking upon one of our historic missions. As you likely have gathered, this mission is titled "Operation Cut the Fat." The premises are simple:

1. Getting rid of the things in your life that you don't need.

That's it. This includes things such as deleting pointless phone numbers, removing friends from Facebook, or in the case of Adam, retiring from the Benedictine party community (finally).

My mission has been centered on removing the various phone numbers of people who I know that I will likely never call again and also trimming down my Facebook friends and groups to include only the most important. The remaining friends on my Facebook are only my good friends at Benedictine and my friends from high school who I like to keep in touch with. Otherwise, you're outta there. It's not meant to be a malicious thing. It just makes my life simpler and easier.

The influences for the Cut the Fat movement (CTF) are far-reaching. They include, but are not limited to: Douglas Coupland's Generation X, the George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine, and of course, Adam's untimely drunken outbursts directed at certain stupid girls.

As I said, Mr. Hansen has retired from the Benedictine party community after a few unfortunate incidents and the pestering of his friends. This has been a major component of the CTF. Furthermore, in a move inspired by both Jerry Poro and Vin Diesel, Mr. H (as his students call him) has even quit the Facebook. Though this is a commendable action, it is not one that is necessary in the CTF. The Facebook is valuable as a way to keep in touch with old friends, and in my case, meet a wonderful lady. Nonetheless, the dedication shown by Mr. H is one that should be applauded.

When all is said and done, it is our sincere hope that CTF will enrich our lives. We encourage you to take a look at your life and get rid of what you just don't need.

Quick Story

I got paid a bizarrely awesome compliment tonight. Normally, my boo specializes in these, but this one came from a highly unlikely source.

Earlier this evening my sister told me she had to tell me what Chelsey said about me. Chelsey is my sister's classmate and friend from way back, like age 3. She is also Tyler's (the Feedback Whales guitarist and my oldest friend) sister. Needless to say, due to our age differences her and I have no communication whatsoever. This is what made the compliment bizarre. ANYWAY, Sis began by telling me that Chelsey was shocked that I was on Myspace, which seems weird because just about everyone is on Myspace. She then proceeded to tell me that her and Tyler were talking about how I knew about "every band" and how it was "so cool that I could know so much about so much music." If you know me, you know that I take a small amount of pride in my musical knowledge, and that I constantly search for interesting things. So to know that the guitarist from my band and his sister marvel at my abilities is kind of neat. I don't know how they could have possibly began this conversation, but the fact that I know it took place is fun for me.

This was one of the high points of my day, along with a call for a job interview. Also, hearing my girlfriend sound happy and excited on the phone was definitely a pick-me-up. Made me want to be with her tomorrow even more than I already did.

I'll Be Your Mirror

I'm really confused about what I look like to other people. It is quite common to try to compare people you know to famous people. Adam, for example, is widely believed to be very Will Ferrel-esque. But I seem to be unclassifiable. As proof I present to you the strange array of people I have been compared to.

Justin Timberlake - this is the most common comparison that I get. In high school, I once signed a Justin Timberlake autograph while at the mall.









Ryan Reynolds - this originally was a Grandma only opinion, but lately people at work have been saying it too. At first I thought it was due to my beard, but even after I shaved one guy was afraid I would kill him with an axe just like Mr. Reynolds in The Amityville Horror.








This is where things start to get weird.

Brett Favre - I wish I could play football like Brett Favre (and I bet he wishes he could too), but I really see no similarity except for blue eyes. I think another mitigating factor would be that he has roughly 15 years on me. I don't get it.









Steven Seagal - this is surely a Grandma only opinion, right? I can't see anyway that me and the most lethal man to ever have a ponytail look alike. It should be noted that my grandma is not blind and/or senile.









After seeing these pictures, you can see why I am confused about who I look like to other people. So please, let me know who you think I look like so that I can begin the casting for my biopic.

Quickly

Here is a quick list of albums that I really liked this year that could make my official top 10 list of 2005:

• Apologies to the Queen Mary - Wolf Parade
• Silent Alarm - Bloc Party
• LCD Soundsystem - LCD Soundsystem
• Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
• Illinois - Sufjan Stevens
• Late Registration - Kanye West
• In Case We Die - Architecture in Helsinki
• The Best Party Ever - The Boy Least Likely To
• Cripple Crow - Devendra Banhart
• Employment - Kaiser Chiefs
• Arular - M.I.A.
• Twin Cinema - the New Pornographers
• Howl Howl Gaff Gaff - the Shout Out Louds
• The Woods - Sleater-Kinney

As you can probably figure out, that is more than 10 albums1. But I think those are my favorite releases of 20052. Some of these I am surprised were released in 20053, but that helps make the list even better. I shall finish said list by the end of the month.

1. 14 to be exact.
2. A few notable exceptions to this preliminary cut: Lullabies to Paralyze - Queens of the Stone Age, Guero - Beck, Howl - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. All 3 are highly recommended, but not quite as strong througout as the above mentioned.
3. Those are: Bloc Party, LCD Soundsystem, M.I.A., and Kaiser Chiefs. It seems like those have been out forever.
   

Not Your Typical Tuesday Night

I've prepared a short skit that altered the events of last night. It takes place in a Baskin-Robbins at around 5:10 pm and showcases 4 characters:

Trey - main character; enjoys rock music
Clinton - man on the other end of the phone; Trey's best friend from high school
Eve - Trey's girlfriend with him at Baskin-Robbins; enjoys rock music, is sexy
Clerk - girl who works at Baskin-Robbins

As I stated, this is the transcription of the conversation I had with Clinton last night in Baskin-Robbins:

Trey's phone chirps, it is Clinton
Trey [surprised]: Hey?!
Clinton: Hey. What are you doing?
Trey: Eating ice cream. What are you doing?
Clinton: Eating a sandwich. An ice cream one.
Trey: Awesome. Where are you?
Clinton: In my room. At school.
Trey [confused]: All right.
Clinton: What are you doing tonight?
Trey: Just hanging out with my girlfriend.
Clinton: Cool. Do you guys want to go to Depeche Mode?
[pause]
Trey [incredulous]: Are you serious?
Eve [looking interested]: What?
Clinton: Yeah. Tonight.
Trey [to Eve]: Do you want to go see Depeche Mode tonight?
Eve [shocked]: Yeah!
Trey [to Clinton]: How much?
Clinton: Uh. Free.
Trey: Are you serious? [to Clerk] I'll have Truffle in Paradise in a waffle cone.
Clerk: Ok.
Clinton: Yeah, I have extra tickets from some girl.
Trey: Where is it?
Clinton: Allstate.
Trey [disbelieving]: You're telling me you have to free tickets to see Depeche Mode tonight at the Allstate Arena?
Clinton: Yeah, and there's an opening band, the Raveonettes.
Trey: Yeah. We'll go for sure.

So that's the story of my last night. Eve had happened to journey out to Plano, and old friend Clinton called with $75 tickets to see Depeche Mode. Needless to say, we enjoyed our terrific ice creams and hit the road on the way to a fabulous 80s dance party/concert.

The Mystery Friend

This is a condundrum for the ages. Everyone has at least one friend that they do not understand how they are friends with. Maybe this person has completely different interests, or you share no mutual friends, or he eats chicken like a savage off a lunch tray. I don't know. But you have one, and I will never understand the basis for this.

Typically, the mystery friend (MF) starts off as an inocuous acquantinance. For instance, said MF could be the roommate of a friend in college. As freshmen often do, roommates will accompany each other to social events. This is a pathway that could lead you to your MF. Say real friend (RF) brings MF to a party. MF may have a good time and prove to be a socialble person, in which case RF will invite MF to the next get-together. After two pleasant times, it's safe to say that a bond could be formed. Soon the mystery friendship will be cemented by what I like to call the Turning Point (TP).

After MF has joined RF to a number of outings, it is accepted that MF is a part of the crew, and soon the TP will occur. The TP is the first time that MF hangs out without the presence of RF. Just like that MF has formed a real friendship with you, and you didn't even see it coming. In fact, it is usually not till sometime in the future until you realize how bizarre it is that you are friends with this person.

Often times, your MF could be your best friend. This is a somewhat commonplace occurence. You just get so used to hanging out, that the next thing you know you are amazed about who your best friend is. Needless to say, having a MF is not a bad thing, it's just very strange. It is easy to look at people and say, "I could see them being friends." And that is usually the case with friends, but in the MF situation that dynamic is completely thrown out the window.

I don't think that anyone will ever understand the Mystery Friend paradox, but it is indeed a pickle. Think about it, and you will surely be able to think of at least one friend that you have no idea how you are friends.