October 30, 2007

Baseless Predictions - October 30, 2007

With people everywhere previewing everything, the Blowtorch offers baseless predicitions for every NBA game of the day.

Portland at San Antonio
It is curious that the Blazers have a horde of point guards who have two first names: Brandon Roy, Jarret Jack, Steve Blake. For a team owned by a guy named Paul Allen, this makes sense. Tonight, they face the reigning champion Spurs in a battle of teams that will be hard to watch this year.
BASELESS PREDICTION: Brent Barry makes 2 three pointers then smokes an entire pack of clove cigarettes on his drive home.






Houston at Los Angeles Lakers
Both teams miss Robert Horry since they haven't won a title since he left. Both teams also miss Glen Rice, but that's just because he looks like Tony Gwynn.
BASELESS PREDICTION: Phil Jackson enjoys a honeycrisp apple at halftime.




Utah at Golden State
I imagine that trips to California are when Andrei Kirilenko cashes in on his once a year indulgence.
BASELESS PREDICTION: Carlos Boozer's armpit hair terrifies children in the stands and watching at home.