As any real estate agent will tell you, the three most important things are location, location, and location. It goes with out saying that the same is true for the work dump. Unlike the work pee, where you can choose any bathroom, the work dump requires careful choosing to provide the most ideal environment for your deed.
First, you will want to investigate the locations of bathrooms throughout your work facility. Also, if you have the time you should pay attention to the amount of traffic going into and out of these restrooms. While there may be a slight thrill in possibly being discovered to be the cause of a deadly odor, I would recommend that you stick to the least used and most secluded bathroom that you find. Furthermore, you should determine the proximity of this location to other important areas such as a break room, cafeteria, vending machine, or other high traffic areas. It is best to choose a spot that is as far away as possible from these areas as you do not want to be interrupted while you are making money performing nature's calling.
After you have made your decision of where, you need to carefully inspect the bathroom for the necessary supplies. This is a short list, but leaving any of these things off can be detrimental. There are only two items which are an absolute necessity when attemping a work dump, and they are:
- A stall door that closes and locks
- Toilet paper
If either of these two essentials is not present you must immediately abandon this location and seek shelter in a better equipped bathroom. Of course there are other items which may be used that can further enhance the work dump process, among these are air freshener, a plunger, and reading material (the last two will be covered in the Advanced Techniques portion). But as long as you have the door and the toilet paper, you have an adequate, though not particularly extravagant, place.
Of course, if you have the chance to enter a bathroom that consists of only a single toilet in a light traffic area you have found the Holy Grail of work dump bathrooms. These little heavens on Earth are often found in hospitals and similar corporations, and provide the best possible scenario for carrying out your work dump.
To review, the three essential lessons about the location of a bathroom are as follows:
- The bathroom of choice must contain toilet paper and have a stall door that closes and locks.
- The bathroom should be the most well-secluded and private that you can find.
- The bathroom should be as far away as possible from major locations throughout the workplace.
Tomorrow: Timing Your Work Dump