Happy Boxing Day

Here's a post-Christmas treat. Thank me later.

Marshmallows Roasting on an Open Fire

Please listen to today's Basketball Jones podcast for nuggets like this:

Tas: Shhhhh...you have the mallows?

Skeets: What?

Tas: The mallows. Do you have the mallows?

Skeets: Marshmallows.

Tas: Yeah, we're gonna roast 'em.

Skeets: Chestnuts, man.

Tas: Yeah, whatever.

Rasheed Wallace Perfected the Remix

I've got a post on Andres Nocioni in the works, but this needs to be seen.

Kudos to Kelly Dwyer by way of Can't Stop the Bleeding.

UPDATE: Go peep my new Suns piece, on their rookies.

6 Guys from Back In the Day That Cracked Me Up When I Was Young

I don't think anyone ever liked Xavier McDaniel but his name is hilarious.

When this is the best picture that turns up for a Jack Haley search it's not a good sign.

Still not as ugly as his free-throws.

Sideways flat-top? Yes, please.



SASQUATCH

Manute Bol - human?

King for a Day

Two fantastical announcements:

• I'm now scrawling Suns-oriented silliness over at Born and Raised. Get your blog game on.
• BLOG SHOW, SON. Chicka-chicka-wha??? Peep it! (about the 5 minute mark)

YEAAAAAAAAAAAH! Go get their shirt while the official Blowtorch one is in the works.

JAMAAL TINSLEY, MATHEMATICSIZED!!!

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Kid Delicious It Is

After 1200 votes, the Official Kevin Durant Nickname Extravaganza has come to a close. With no further ado, the Blowtorch presents to you:

KID DELICIOUS

Suggested by commenter "joejoejoe" way back when, Kid Delicious (appropriated from pool legend Danny Basavich) is both descriptive and name-associative: Kevin Durant - Kid Delicious.

Please join me, blogosphere, as we push Kid Delicious to heights unknown.

SEVEN HOURS

Get your votes in. Kid Delicious leads by a scant 8 votes with seven hours of voting remaining.

VOTE

All We Want for Christmas

With only 3 weeks until Christmas, let's check in with fans across the league to see what they want most from their favorite NBA team:

Atlanta Hawks - realized potential. Also, a new GM.

Boston Celtics - a championship.

Charlotte Bobcats - for all of their players to be as good as they were in college.

Chicago Bulls - the head of Scott Skiles, Tyrus Thomas in the starting line-up, and Joakim Noah on the floor.

Cleveland Cavaliers - that signing Varejao is incentive enough for LeBron to stick around. Oh, and to sign Varejao.

Dallas Mavericks - anything but the Warriors.

Denver Nuggets - more guys with cornrows, headbands, and armsleeves.

Detroit Pistons - a championship.

Golden State Warriors - the Mavericks in every playoff series.

Houston Rockets - they'll tell you a championship, but getting out of the first round would make them happy.

Indiana Pacers - the opportunity to draft Kevin Love.

Los Angeles Clippers - stronger leg ligaments.

Los Angeles Lakers - help for Kobe, so he'll stick around and continue to look good while not winning championships.

Memphis Grizzlies - that this year is Darko's breakout year. Also, more Spaniards.

Miami Heat - 2006.

Milwaukee Bucks - having averted an international disaster, Bucks fans are pretty happy right now. Some bratwurst would be nice though.

Minnesota Timberwolves - to wake up Christmas morning and find out that the Garnett trade was a dream.

New Jersey Nets - that some sucker team decides they want Vince Carter. Or that Vince Carter gets a set of balls for Christmas.

New Orleans Hornets - Chris Paul to stay healthy.

New York Knicks - a new coach, a new GM, a new roster, a championship, and more intern sex. New York fans are greedy.

Orlando Magic - that the team can keep this going.

Philadelphia 76ers - that Iverson dude.

Phoenix Suns - a championship.

Portland Trailblazers - that micro-fracture surgery really isn't anything to worry about.

Sacramento Kings - less ugly players.

San Antonio Spurs - a championship.

Seattle SuperSonics - that this time next year they're still the SEATTLE SuperSonics.

Toronto Raptors - a stronger exchange rate for the US dollar. Also, that Chris Bosh shows some kind of improvement.

Utah Jazz - chest hair trimmer for Carlos Boozer.

Washington Wizards - that micro-fracture surgery really isn't anything to worry about.