Inner Thoughts with Leon Powe

Rajon Rondo: Here. (pump fakes, jumps, spins, and throws an off-balance pass to Leon Powe)

Leon Powe: What do you want me to do with this? Dribble?

Alright. I guess I can take a dribble until you’re ready.

(takes a dribble)

Aren’t you guys going to guard me?

Phil Jackson: What is this “guarding” you speak of? Existentially, if we were to ignore this matriculation, then said matriculation would cease to exist. One need not guard that which does not exist.

Leon Powe: I’ll take one more dribble then I’ll stop. Get this to someone who can handle it. Or Rajon.

(takes another dribble)

Seriously, guys. Are you messing with me? I’m Leon Powe and I’m dribbling up court. At full speed.

Kobe Bryant: Does he know me? Do I know this guy? I don’t know this guy.

Lamar Odom: (thinks about unicorns and robots)

Leon Powe: This is a joke, right? I’m getting close to the basket now. I’ll stop if you want.

(takes a dribble in to the lane)

Pau Gasol: Habla Espanol? Me gusta mi barba.

Leon Powe: Okay, I’m dunking now. Just so you know, I’m going to dunk.

(throws down a fierce dunk)

Phil Jackson: Guarding is such sweet sorrow.

Lamar Odom: (thinks about dinosaurs)

Inner Thoughts with Tony Parker

Hey guyss, ees me, Tonay Parcare. Lass nigh was a crassees game. Tonay vas happies. Tonay vas sneakies!

A-luke at Tonay being sneakiess. Tonay make Spurs a-veen by tventy point. UH HUH HUH BAGUETTE! Tonay like-a baguette!

But-a zen, sings, zey get-a vorse. Datta make Tonay ahngree. Tonay does-a not like loosing.

See! Tonay Parcare is-a varry, varry ahngree. And vhen Tonay Parcare gess ahngree, Tonay Parcare gess sad. Varry sads.How did-a Tonay Parcare a-loos that-a game? Vhat a deesapointments.

Oh vell. Tonay's got hees baguettes ahd hees camemberts. Maybe you want-a to sex-a hees wife? Go head, sex-a Tonay's vife! She bootyfull but Tonay too sad for ze sexing. If you no sex-a Tonay's wife, maybe Crease Paul vill...