The Fable of Ben Wallace

In the Bible, there's the story of Samson and Delilah. Given his luscious locks, Samson is told he'll have unfathomable strength as long as he never cuts his hair. However, enticed by Delilah, his hair does get cut and he loses all his strength. Whoops.

However, I don't think the Bible mentions that before his haircut, Samson's productivity would drastically decrease to the point where he's considered one of the worst free agent signings in history. Or that he had an entire metropolitan fan base upset that he was a part of their team. And it's probably glossed over, but I'm pretty sure that Samson never had his hair in cornrows.

Oh, and Samson could shoot freethrows.