July 16, 2008

Investigating Kobe Bryant's Sheath Logo

There's an old saying, "If you win the MVP, people will make a ton of shoes about it." It's not a particularly good saying, but I think it fits. Since the season got over, there have been a ridiculous amount of Kobe Bryant shoes, shirts, and baked goods made available that celebrate his first MVP. This does not trouble me. Kobe is a marketable athlete who is becoming less and less unlikeable by the year. Get money and all that.

What troubles me is his logo.
For the life of me, I can't figure out why Kobe has this logo. First of all, it sucks. You can't look at that and discern for any reason why that might be Kobe Bryant's logo. It kinda looks like a T, but I'm guessing it's not in honor of the last letter of his last name. It's the wackness.

Possibly even more infuriating than a purely non-sensical logo is that it is supposedly a sheath. Assuming that this would be a sheath that covers a sword of some sort, more questions are raised. Why does Kobe get a sheath? He's not a trained swordsman, he was raised in Italy, and there is no conceivable scenario that incorporates Kobe Bryant listening to the Wu-Tang Clan. Admittedly, if Kobe were a Wu-Tang fan he'd be a GZA guy, but that's beside the point -- Kobe Bryant would not listen to Wu-Tang.

I've gone astray. Back to the lecture at hand.

Kobe is not a samurai sword kind of guy. He's not any sort of guy except a basketball guy, really. It's known that Kobe is obsessed with his sport, so trying to relate him to other areas rings false to me. Ergo, I do not like his logo.

However, if you flip his logo over, I think the logo makes a bit more sense.
You see, Kobe's a dick.

5 comments:

Handsome Hwang said...

Hilarious. I don't understand how all these people think that hes changed. He's the same person! Yes he's one of if not the best player in the nba but at least admit that he is a bit of a dick.

Anonymous said...

You are a fucking hater like everyone else :)

Anonymous said...

keep hatin niggaz..u just jealous...bec. he has fabolous life..and u suck!

Anonymous said...

He is my favourite player right now but..... he is a bit of a dick...

Anonymous said...

Well, if you had any sort of a brain, you'd "investigate" this matter to the best of your ability. However, if that was your best, I'm sorry.. You must be a Ron Artest fan or something.

The logo can stand for many things. To me it stands for his bread and butter - the triple threat.

In lesser possibilities, a swordsman ready to draw his sword from the sheath and fight boasts a similar stance to the triple threat. It could also stand for his razor sharp abilities and how he could cut, slice, and straight up stab holes into defenders with his awesomeness.

Die Kobe haters, die.