May 20, 2008

My Hanes Commercial Script

During the playoffs I've seen this Cuba Gooding, Jr. / Michael Jordan commercial numerous times. Ergo, I decided to write my first script. I think it turned out pretty great.

Cuba is sitting in his trailer. He is digging through a set of drawers, desperately searching for something.
CUBA
C’mon. They’ve got to be in here. Michael wouldn’t do this to me.

Cuba continues digging.

CUBA
I NEED that comfort soft waistband!

Cuba reaches in his pocket and pulls out a rumpled pair of Hanes Comfort Soft boxers. Cuba then sprints out of his trailer to a nearby basketball court where Michael Jordan is shooting around with 4 scantily clad women.

CUBA
Michael! I found your underwear! They were in my pocket the whole time!
MICHAEL
(Michael gives Cuba a look of bewilderment.)
CUBA
I took ‘em out of your laundry after the movie last night. You don’t mind if I hang on to ‘em, do you?
MICHAEL
(Michael starts laughing while the girls grasp his chest and arms.)
CUBA
(Cuba cries a single tear while considering the depths to which his career has fallen.)

THE END

2 comments:

Kyle said...

BAGUETTE!

Unknown said...

I've often wondered Jordan's payscale for appearing in commercials. Clearly there is a huge drop off from a speaking role to a non-speaking role.

Remember the Chevy Blazer spot during the '93 Finals? He just whistles and smiles to poke fun at his not-talkin-to-the-press phase.