In a Predicament

Oh man. I'm in a serious quandry right now, and I'm not really sure what I should do.

All my friends keep on getting married, and I mean, everybody knows that gets the old ball and chain thinking about marriage. Now I was never too worried about my girlfriend, Anne, wanting to get married too soon. I thought things were going great. But then we go to Marco's wedding (too early) and she catches the bouquet. Let's just say my wild mustang days are over.

So I finally decide, I might as well propose to Anne, she's a real cool chick. But knowing me, I really really messed up the proposal. Telling a girl, "You win" is not the most effective method of conveying your love for another person. Now she's gone. And if that weren't bad enough, my grandpa (a multimillionaire) just died.

Between the breakup and the death, I'm pretty destroyed. Then I remember that there is something in my Pappy's will that said that I should inherit a lot of the money. Jackpot!

In the words of Lee Corso, not so fast my friend.

I don't get any money unless I get married by 6:05 on the day of my 30th birthday. Now that doesn't sound too bad. At the very least, I can find someone quick and get a prenup and be ok. Oh yeah, my birthday is TOMORROW!!!!

Everyone so far has just said that I just need to go through my little black book and find a suitable wife. But all my old girlfriends know that I was scared of commitment. To add to my problems, virtually every news station has broadcast the news that I need a wife. At one point, about 200 girls in wedding dresses chased me down the street trying to get me to marry them.

The best that I can hope for is that Anne comes back because after this whole ordeal I finally understand what true love is. My guess is that if she comes back before 6:05 tomorrow, we would get married.