September 22, 2008

Salim Stoudamire's First Press Conference


Hi, guys. As you probably already know, I've been acquired by the Spurs. I just wanted to take my time to introduce myself to the people of San Antonio and my teammates.

The first thing I want to say is, I'm open. All the time. I'm open right now, in fact. Even though sometimes it might look like I'm guarded, trust me -- I'm open.

I don't know how it always happens, but for whatever reason, I'm always open. I wake up in the morning -- open. I get up in the middle of the night to pee -- open. I'm driving down the block with my Low End Theory tape in -- open. So basically, just get me the rock.

This brings me to my second point. My shooting range is unfathomable. Whenever I touch the ball, the shot is something I'm comfortable with. For instance, one time at Atlanta last year, I was on the bench, but we were shooting at the other basket. A ball got tipped out of bounds and I caught it. Even though I was on the bench, on the other side of the floor, I could have hit that shot. Of course, I was open.

Remember those shirts in the Eastbay catalogs from like 10 years ago? The ones that said something like "my range starts when I enter the gym" or something like that? I bought every single one of those shirts in both colors. You know why? Because it's true. Kind of. My range starts when I see a basketball hoop anywhere. That's my shot. No worries.

In closing, I'd like to thank the people of San Antonio for welcoming me to your fine state. I'd also like to remind you that I'm open.

Thank you.

6 comments:

Unsilent Majority said...

If they ever put him on the floor people might begin to realize that he's one of the best pure shooters alive.

Anonymous said...

It's great to know that despite our racial, athletic, financial, academic, cultural, experiential, talent and skill-level differences, Salim and I shared similar tastes in activewear growing up. Though I doubt he also rocked the Pavement "Sunny Side Up" T-shirt in junior high, featuring two eggs where your nipples were, leading to much bitch-tits-centric abuse. I was a fat, dumb 12-year-old.

Trey said...

To be fair, Pavement is awesome enough to endure breast-based humor.

Anonymous said...

And come to think of it, it was a much safer play for me to wear a shirt broadcasting my love for Slanted and Enchanted than it was for me to wear one proclaiming that my handle was sick -- if someone called me out on the kind of records I liked, I could at least defend that.

Anonymous said...

Bass crazy kickin' in, Duncan with the kickout?

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