July 17, 2008

Joe Alexander Attends a Screening of The Dark Knight


OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS, I CAN'T BELIEVE WE GET TO SEE THIS MOVIE EARLY! IT'S GOING TO BE OUT OF THIS WORLD!

Joe's friend: Sssssshhhhh.

YOU JERKS! YOU KNOW I'M WHISPERING RIGHT NOW! I HATE ALL OF YOU AND YOUR STUPID VOLUME-CONTROLLED VOICES!

Joe's friend: Easy, Joe.

SHUT YOUR STUPID FACE UP, CHAS! LET'S WATCH THE MOVIE!

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS IS HEATH LEDGER'S LAST MOVIE?! HE'S TERRIFYING IN THIS! DON'T GO IN THERE, BATMAN! DON'T DO IT!

Joe's friend: You can't say things like that, Joe.

I'LL SAY WHAT I WANT CHAS! THIS IS AMERICA! IF I WANT TO TELL A FICTIONAL CHARACTER THAT HE SHOULD BE WARY OF CHASING A MANIAC NAMED THE JOKER THAN I WILL TELL HIM THAT! YOUR MOTHER WEARS COMBAT BOOTS!

Joe's friend: Excuse me?

I SAID THAT I LIKE BATMAN'S BOOTS, YOU JUICEBAG!

Joe's friend: Did you just call me a juicebag? I don't even know what that means.

THAT WAS UNDER MY BREATH! YOU SERIOUSLY ARE A JUICEBAG THOUGH! TOTAL JUICEBAG!

THIS MOVIE IS SO GREAT! WE'RE LUCKY NO ONE WAS HERE TO RUIN IT!

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