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Phone rings
Pete Serrano, equipment manager: Hello.
Elgin Baylor: Hey, Pete. It’s Elgin.
PS: Not too bad. Just finished up that knee sleeve that’ll cover Shaun’s scars. Those things are gross.
EB: Oh, excellent. That’ll help keep the fans in the seats. Anything we can do to not terribly horrify the fans is a win in my book. And we need wins, am I right?!
PS: We do need wins, that’s for sure. Anyway, what’s up?
EB: Well, we just drafted Eric Gordon. We’re going to need some massive shorts.
PS: Are you serious? Eric Gordon from Indiana?
EB: Yeah, that’s him.
PS: Geez, Elgin. I don’t know where I’m going to find shorts that big. I mean, yeah, you can find some big shorts, but they’ll come down to his ankles. I guess I can see if the Bulls still have the pattern to Khalid El-Amin’s shorts, but that’s going to be a shot in the dark.
EB: I would have suggested Priest Lauderdale, but you’d get the A-line skirt thing going on.
PS: How do you know about A-line skirts?
Pete Serrano, equipment manager: Hello.
Elgin Baylor: Hey, Pete. It’s Elgin.
PS: Not too bad. Just finished up that knee sleeve that’ll cover Shaun’s scars. Those things are gross.
EB: Oh, excellent. That’ll help keep the fans in the seats. Anything we can do to not terribly horrify the fans is a win in my book. And we need wins, am I right?!
PS: We do need wins, that’s for sure. Anyway, what’s up?
EB: Well, we just drafted Eric Gordon. We’re going to need some massive shorts.
PS: Are you serious? Eric Gordon from Indiana?
EB: Yeah, that’s him.
PS: Geez, Elgin. I don’t know where I’m going to find shorts that big. I mean, yeah, you can find some big shorts, but they’ll come down to his ankles. I guess I can see if the Bulls still have the pattern to Khalid El-Amin’s shorts, but that’s going to be a shot in the dark.
EB: I would have suggested Priest Lauderdale, but you’d get the A-line skirt thing going on.
PS: How do you know about A-line skirts?
EB: Project Runway.
PS: Ooooh, great show. So, anything else I can do for you?
EB: Yeah, there’s one more thing. We just signed Baron Davis. He’ll need some big shorts too.
PS: You’re killing me!
EB: Hey, Donald’s actually spending. I’m not passing that up.
PS: You’re right. But this is going to kill our fabric budget. NBA mesh goes for 75 bucks a yard. Between Gordon and Baron, that’ll be, like, 900 dollars.
EB: Luckily Shaun’s really skinny. Just don’t skimp on Kaman’s shorts. That’s just wrong to even think about.
PS: Yeah, that makes my man parts hurt picturing it.
EB: …
PS: …so, um, I’ll get to work on those fat shorts.
EB: Thanks, Pete.
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