April 16, 2008

The Weakest Link: Toronto Raptors

Someone, possibly a ninja, once said, “A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.” I don’t really get what that means, but as the playoffs approach, El Blowtorch will be profiling the worst player on each team’s roster. Then, the players will face off in a simulated one-on-one game of NBA 2K8 if it’s available at Video Villa. Obviously, this will provide the in-depth analysis needed to predict the winners for each playoff series. Up next, the Toronto Raptors and Joey Graham…

Maybe it’s a twin thing. I don’t know. But if you look at the history of NBA twins, it is not a happy one. We’ve already looked at the Collins twins (one terrible, one really bad). Another famous example is the Grant twins, Horace (pretty good) and Harvey (not very good at all). Maybe it comes from being split up, and therefore having their basketball ability halved. Like I said, I don’t know.

Anyways, the latest terrible basketball player to maybe make an impact on this year’s playoffs is Joey Graham. Along with twin brother Steve, the Grahams have had little to no impact on the basketball world. Mr. J.E. Skeets says Joey is “dumb as rocks.” But maybe it’s simpler than that. Maybe Joey just misses Stevie. Maybe he wishes they could be basketball brothers again. Or maybe he just sucks.

Yeah, it’s probably that last part.

Fun Facts:
Is a licensed pilot…though he usually shaves his head, Joey has blonde hair…favorite Subway sandwich is Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki…has an extensive dragonfly collection…along with brother Steve, owns several bed and breakfasts in Oklahoma

Further Proof That Twins Aren’t That Good When Separated:

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