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Kevin Durant is the latest in a long line of Next Big Things. However, his nickname "KD" is pretty boring and the suggestion that he could be "Plasticman 2" or something like that reeks of complacency. Ergo, ze Blowtorch suggests some replacements for Mr. Kevin Wayne Durant. Your suggestions are welcome in the comments.
- The Realest
- Stretch
- Buckets
- CLORPSE
- Baby-faced Assassin
- Rebirth of the Cool
- The Future
- Nicky Barnes
- Maryland's Finest
- Sticks
- Get Money
- Daggers
- Luther Vandross
- Deo
- Lotta Shots
Personally, I like "The Realest." "Nicky Barnes" is a fun alter-ego though.
UPDATE: Go vote for Kevin Durant's new nickname. It's on the right.
Kevin Durant: Jules Winnfield
ReplyDeleteNOT that it makes any sense. But that's how I roll broheim.
I ALMOST put that. And obviously I should have.
ReplyDeleteKevin Durant- KD
ReplyDeleteKD- Kraft Dinner
Kevin "The Big Cheese" Durant
Kevin Durant: Da Chedda or Da Cheddz
ReplyDeletehow about "budda"
ReplyDeleteas in "oooh, that three was as smooth as budda!"
or just spontaneously after he makes a shot:
"and the shot is up and... BUDDA!!!"
I hope he ends up with several nicknames, like a Wu-Tang member.
ReplyDelete"Durant" always sounds to me like "Durex". Maybe Rubber Man?
ReplyDeleteHe was #2 among high school seniors after Oden, then #2 in the NBA Draft after Oden. I think he should be called "The Big Deuce", especially if he keeps shooting under 40%.
I like the "budda" suggestion. I'd also support an alteration on "Rebirth of the cool" to "Rebirth of Slick" although phrases rarely take off as nicknames. Finally I'll submit "Smoove D" as my personal suggestion.
ReplyDeleteI'm stealing this one from Gus Johnson: Mr. Good Things.
ReplyDeleteIf we're going to comment on how smooth he is, don't give him a nickname. Like Laozi said:
ReplyDeleteThe Way that can be told of is not an unvarying way;
The names that can be named are not unvarying names.
It was from the Nameless that Heaven and Earth sprang;
The named is but the mother that rears the ten thousand creatures, each after its kind.
Therefore, we should not give him a nickname.
I think some consideration should be given to "The Cowboy"... after all, he'll be an Oklahoma resident soon enough.
ReplyDeleteCan we vote now?
ReplyDeleteRunners up:
Buckets - too used
Budda - too Barbra Streisand
Big Deuce - too scatalogical
Mr. Good Things - too Captain Kangaroo
The Realest - too Usher
#1 Choice:
Smoove D - because you can never be too Smoove B
I would love to call him "Luther Vandross". But I suggest "Britney Spears".
ReplyDeleteKid Delicious
ReplyDeleteBig Slim? I don't know...I thought it was clever.
ReplyDeletePatrick reminded me of something... speaking of Gus Johnson, I love that David Lee's nickname is "Shallow Water". As in "David Lee should not take a 18-foot, that's the deep end for Mr. Shallow Waters".
ReplyDeleteAnd since there is no bad shot for KD, how about "Deep End"?
Why don't we let Kenny Smith decide this for us, as we always do?
ReplyDeleteDurant sounds like the Pink Panther theme - durant-durant-durantdurantdurantdurantduraaaaaaaaaaaaant-durantdurant
ReplyDeleteTherefore I propose The Green Panther.
Durantula
ReplyDeleteIf he ever wins a ring, you could call him the Green Lantern....
ReplyDeleteThat's easy...Call KD "Maker's Mark" cause he's smooth but in large amounts he'll burn you!
ReplyDeleteI forget where i heard this one but, "The DURANTula" as in tarantula. he is long-limbed and deadly. Plus it RHYMES!
ReplyDeleteI'm partial to "The Big Skinny"
ReplyDeleteLocal media is calling him the Durantula.
ReplyDeleteK-Durr
ReplyDeletebecause he'll make opposing defenders feel like retards
"I got schooled by K-Durrrrr"
How about "Durantula"?
ReplyDeleteK-Dirt 'cause he likes to get on the floor.
ReplyDeleteUnfortuntely, "Durantula" cannot be added without messing with the results.
ReplyDeleteAnd K-Anything won't be added because it's too common.
Here in Austin we always called him the Baby Faced Killer
ReplyDeleteSorry to be late...
ReplyDeletebut the nickname is,
and always will be
"Kevin Durant Apocalypse"
Combo of Wu Tang/Budda:
ReplyDelete"Big Baby Budda"
How about Austin Powers
ReplyDeleteHe already has a nickname--everyone at Texas called him, "K-Dew". You can also pronounce it, "K-Doo". I'm just surprised nobody's taken the Mountain Dew logo and changed it to "K-Dew" yet.
ReplyDeleteDurangutan!!!
ReplyDeleteK-Dew is a gay nickname, and if you use it you're an idiot.
ReplyDeleteThere is no argument here:
ReplyDeleteThe Durantula fits his killer game and lengthy limbs. Plus, then he can get all the Spider-Man terminology as I will now demonstrate
The Durantula, sticks to his man on the drive - swatted away!
Number 35, catches on the wing, blows by his man, up for the shot - double clutches to avoid the help side defender. How does he do it - must be the spidey sense!